


Trying to save me? Kill me, I reckon!

by VanessaWolfie



Series: Life, I reckon! [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Basilisks, Bullying, Family Feels, Gen, Good Severus Snape, Hogwarts Second Year, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Charm | Obliviate (Harry Potter), POV Harry Potter, POV Severus Snape, Past Child Abuse, Severitus | Severus Snape is Harry Potter's Parent, Severus Snape Adopts Harry Potter, Temporary Amnesia, Touch-Starved, accidental magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27211711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanessaWolfie/pseuds/VanessaWolfie
Summary: Harry and Severus are back at the castle for Harry's second year. Thing go mostly as in the books, with a few slight changes. Lockhart is still stupid and Severus raves, but Harry does so first. The two find their balance in this new environment for their tiny little family.
Relationships: Harry Potter & Severus Snape
Series: Life, I reckon! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1968409
Comments: 138
Kudos: 565





	1. Tiny little scaredy kids

**Author's Note:**

> I won't be re-writing the whole second book, I'll make due with just making it clear when I've changed something and writing in a few reactions and thoughts appropriate to the changed summer.

Harry was amazed how different the start of Year Feast looks from a second-year point of view. He’d come in, with his robes on, and joined his friends at the heavily decorated Gryffindor table and they sat and talked jovially before the First Years finally followed Professor McGonagall into the Great Hall.

Harry caught a glimpse of Ginny, her red hair flashing in the crowd of firsties and he couldn’t help but turn to Ron to whisper, “Were we ever _that_ small?” but before Ron could reply, Fred turned to him and shot, “Yes, and you still are,” at them with a grin.

Harry and Ron scoffed and Ron just nodded to Harry. Their attention shifted to the hat singing, and then the sorting started. Harry thought it was kind of funny to try and imagine what the hat was saying to all the scaredy kids.

Then Luna walked up, looking just as calm and out-of-this world as normal and the hat sat on her head for a while, although it wasn’t twitching like when it had been on Harry’s head, no, if he wasn’t mistaken, the hat was perplexed. Harry knew it was a common feeling when meeting Luna, and he couldn’t imagine being given a peek at her brain.

“The hat doesn’t know where to place her, does it,” Ron whispered, and his tone was a bit too mocking for Harry’s taste.

He snapped back, “I’m guessing its hard to get Luna to the point. She doesn’t often see much purpose in segregating people into different groups. It’s why she doesn’t like to play Quidditch with us.”

Harry almost felt bad for snapping at Ron. He knew not many liked Luna, but he did. She reminded him of something, he didn’t know what.

Eventually, long after everyone had really lost interest in Luna’s sorting, the hat called out “Ravenclaw!”, although its voice was a lot less certain than normally.

Harry clapped loudly, which might’ve looked a bit strange since she wasn’t sorted into his house, but Luna smiled at him and waved before going down to the Ravenclaw table to sit.

Ginny was the last to be sorted and the hat stopped slightly longer than when Draco had been sorted, but it wasn’t much. She smiled the biggest smile Harry had ever seen on her and then she ran over to them, her brothers and Harry. They clapped loud and proud and all of her brothers gave her a hug and a pat on the back.

“That’s the last of us, ain’t it, proved we’re Gryffindors deep down in our blood, haven’t we?” Ron said, and even Percy seemed to think the same. Harry and Hermione shook their heads at them. They’d never quite understood how people could thought it mattered so much where you were sorted.

House pride was one thing, but after a summer spent with Severus, Harry came to realise, that the idea that houses could determine how good of a person you were, or anything like that, was a bit stupid. Severus had done so much for him, and he was a Slytherin. Didn’t that mean that Slytherin’s couldn’t be all bad? The hat had said Harry could be anywhere, really.

He was happy for his friends though. And happy that Ginny would be joining their House, she’d definitely join the Quidditch team later on, Harry had seen her fly over the summer.

The Feast didn’t disappoint, and Hermione and Ron interrogated him about living at the castle for a week. He couldn’t say much. He’d enjoyed the peace and quiet by mostly just staying at Severus’s chambers, and reading, feeling addicted to the warmth of his mother’s blanket.

He didn’t tell them that, but he did say Severus had told him even more of his mother.

“You’ve been living in the dungeons, mate? Didn’t that feel a bit cold?”

Harry just raised his eyebrows at Ron and then Hermione and Harry broke out in laughter as Ron looked horrified.

“You don’t understand, you just … you looked just like … _Snape_.” He said, sounding slightly disgusted.

“Yeah, he’s my family Ron, I’m told you tend to blend in with them after a while.”

Ron and Hermione looked stunned at that.

Harry tried to think of what he’d said that was so surprising, and couldn’t think of anything but the fact that he’d referred to Severus as his family.

“What, you’ve known for a month. He celebrated my birthday, he adopted me, he bought me clothes and books, what else should I call him?”

Ron just continued to stare, but Hermione rolled her eyes, seemingly having recovered. “Harry, _you_ haven’t called him that before. It’s just a bit surprising. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that word with such happiness in your voice before.”

Now, both boys were suitably embarrassed and the three of them followed Percy up to the Gryffindor dorm. Harry saw Ginny walk up with an excited looking boy, who she seemed to only be tolerating slightly, but decided to leave her to her own year rather than try and include her.

Ron and Hermione hadn’t been as tolerant of hanging out with a younger girl this summer anyway. Harry preferred hanging out with Luna and Ginny by himself. He was still adjusting to having more than one pair of friends, but it was like staying with Severus. It might be different, but it was better.

Harry’s first classes went a whole lot better than the start of his first year.

He’d done his homework, and redone it and had Severus look it over for him, so he was not only proud to hand it in, but he was prepared for the teachers’ questions. Hermione looked at him with a screwed up face and a surprised look when he answered before her in their first class, but then she just smiled and nodded quietly. She approved.

Ron was a bit put out, but then he just took to his studies in class beside them, having no one to distract.

When they walked out of class, Ron mumbled to Harry, “I’m happy and all, for you, ‘cause I know you hated it at the Muggles’, and you clearly don’t with Snape, but if it’s going to make you study crazy like Hermione, I’m not sure how I’m going to cope.”

“I’ll let you copy more than Hermione does,” Harry said, feeling pretty safe that Ron wasn’t actually going to abandon them for cooler friends and smiled as Ron gaped at him and then held his hand out for a high five.

Hermione huffed her disapproval, but she bumped shoulders with Harry as they walked close to the next class.

Harry had enjoyed DADA last year, even though he kept having headaches and the creeps over Quirrel, but this year, he was decidedly not looking forward to the first class of it this year. He knew, from Severus, that it _was_ Lockhart teaching it, and the overly smiling, too-brightly-clothed man had been at the long table for the meals since start of term.

Fred and George had no good remarks, as they had him the first day, and Harry’s already low expectations fell even further.

When they gathered into the classroom for a Wednesday morning, sun shining through the windows, and making the smiles of the self-portraits Lockhart had up flash in their eyes.

Harry hated how the man had a need for attention, that didn’t seem to ever dim. It was so far from his own needs and longing, it felt other-worldly. And not in the fun magic way.

He was stunned when the man started class with a quiz of himself. He’d skimmed the damn books, as he’d prepared for all his classes, but all he’d tried to focus on the facts of defeating the Dark Arts, as that was the point of the class. Never in a million years would he have thought he’d be quizzed on his teachers favourite … anything.

After that, it hadn’t even been that surprising when they’d had to take care of the Pixies by themselves. It was already quite clear the man was completely useless.

Harry was still seething when he grabbed his pack and rushed over to lunch, still tugging at his hair that the Pixies had pulled up.

“Bloody useless teacher, won’t learn anything, bloody Pixies, bloody hair!” he hissed to himself as he navigated the hallways without looking up.

“I don’t believe I’ve encouraged quite so appalling language, Harry.”

Harry froze at the drawl of that voice. It set him on edge for a second, as Severus had reverted back to his more acidic tone now that the students had started filling the castle, but it was still the same man. It was family.

He consciously shrugged off his tension and looked up into Severus’s eyes.

“I just … we just had Defense.” Harry said, hoping the man would understand.

“Oh, I see. I guess I have encouraged that sort of language when dealing with … him.” Severus said and Harry noticed that Hermione and Ron, still flanking him, were still tense, as if expecting a loss of House points.

Harry just laughed and wished he wouldn’t freak his friends, - and probably Severus as well - out if he would go in for a hug from the man right now. He was angry, less than after the Alley trip, but still, and all he wanted was some comfort.

“I’ve found a time for you to come down. Wednesdays at five you can come down to our chambers. You’ll be able to stay through dinner and until curfew the nights you want. We’ll keep to that, until something comes up to throw us off that schedule?”

Harry smiled and nodded. “Starting today?” he asked eagerly. It had only been two and a half days of term so far, but he missed the man, after how close they got over the summer. He guessed this was why some of the children had been homesick their first weeks in his first year. It had seemed so foreign to him then, when Hogwarts was so much better than his “home” could ever be.

Severus looked at him, frowning a bit, before smoothing out and nodding.

Harry just took the win, and when Severus dismissed them, kept rushing to lunch. Hopefully, some food would put the whole morning shenanigans behind him.

Severus was taking off his teacher robe and preparing a tea pot when he felt his wards lift for Harry. The whisper of Lily’s magic in them wrapped around him for a warm second and he couldn’t help but close his eyes and enjoy it.

He’d been surprised the boy wanted to come down to see him so soon from the start of term. He’d expected the boy to be catching up with his friends and schoolmates, without much thought of Severus.

He almost spilled the tea when suddenly his waist was circled by Harry and he was wrapped in a hug by the boy.

He was startled, but soon enough, he put down the tea and returned the hug. Maybe this was what the boy missed. He knew how precious touch and comfort were after abuse, and he felt honoured that Harry thought of him as a safe refuge for that.

After listening to Harry rant over Lockhart for a full hour, he was a little less certain he of that honour. If it meant the boy felt he could just rave about that annoying horrible man, then Severus wasn’t sure it was all good.

“Harry, as much as I vehemently agree with your opinion of that smiling fungus, could we maybe move onto a different topic? I agree he shouldn’t be teaching here, but unfortunately, many believe the rumour the post is cursed, so it’s been hard for the Headmaster to find _anyone_ to teach it.” Severus butt in, when he couldn’t take another word on Lockhart anymore.

Harry looked at him, blushing, clearly embarrassed to be called out for his long rant. Then he tilted his head at Severus and asked, “Cursed?”

Severus thought it pointed to exactly how bored he’d been of the previous topic that he was happy to discuss this.

“Nobody has held that post for more than one school year for a few decades.” Severus revealed.

Harry smirked and replied, “I don’t think it’s a rumour when you have _that_ much data supporting it.”

Severus nodded and refilled their tea.

“Do you want to eat here, rather than join the others’ in the Hall?” Severus asked, feeling a bit hungry now.

Harry nodded and Severus tapped the table in front of them with his wand, with the flick needed to order from the kitchens. Enough food for two, along with dishes and cutlery appeared and Severus gestured for Harry to start.

They ate while Harry filled Severus on how his other classes. “Hermione looked so shocked and offended when I answered Professor Flitwick instead of her. I mean, it was just so perfect, he asked about the shrinking charm, that we’ll be going through later in the term, and it’s counter, the engorgement charm and I’d read that section twice this summer, trying to get the finer details.”

Severus looked on, just as proud as Harry. He’d hoped that giving the boy free access and plenty of time would liven his study habits and it seemed that within Harry was plenty of interest, he just hadn’t had the opportunity before.

“That was good. I have to admit to being happy whenever anyone other than Ms. Granger answers in my classes. We all know she knows it.”

Harry smiled so widely Severus was afraid for a split second he was turning into Lockhart. Then the boy kept eating and his smile toned down to this small, proud little thing that Severus felt reminded him of Lily.

After dinner, Severus let Harry show him some of what he’d learned already, smiling as Harry moved his wand, tongue peeking out once in a while, as he focused.

When they had to say goodnight for the evening, Harry rushed in for another hug and said, “Thank you for letting me come down here. I’m finally starting to get why some of the other kids aren’t miss home when they’re here.”

Severus watched the door close behind the boy and couldn’t help but think, _He misses home._ Logic would figure that meant he missed Severus.

It was a terrifying, but happy thought. 


	2. Heavy Hearted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco lets loose the damned word. Severus doesn't respond well.

Harry felt like the weeks flew by after that. Most weeks, his evenings with Severus involved tea, supper and quiet conversations, except for when he complained about Lockhart.

It had been especially bad one day when Harry met a small group of Gryffindor first years. He’d greeted Ginny without thinking about it, and startled back when the small boy he’d noticed on the first night sprung forward to him.

“You’re Harry Potter!” he’d started and Harry had immediately sighed. Hermione had said the same thing when she met him. It’d been a statement and not a question and even if he loved Hermione today, this year was already making him sick of his so-called fame, he didn’t really like a living breathing jumping reminder.

The conversation had been stilted, but he’d let Creevy take a picture of him, reluctantly, but he was clearly out of luck. Lockhart came from one direction of the hallway as the camera flashed and Malfoy from the other.

“Of course you’re starting your own fanbase already, Potter! Don’t forget to turn and give him your good side, huh? I’m not sure how anyone can look at a picture of you, so I don’t know how much good it’ll do, but give it a try, why don’t you?” Malfoy sneered at him, but luckily kept walking as he spotted Lockhart.

“Oh, giving out autographs already, are you?” he said with that horrible blinding smile and then flung an arm around Harry’s shoulders and led him away.

Harry had flinched and tried to shake him off, but hadn’t managed. It made his skin feel like it was trying to crawl off, as Lockhart rambled about it being a tad too soon for him to be so public about his fame, he shouldn’t make his peers too jealous.

Harry had tried his best to tune it out, already gagging at the whole conversation.

“He just _touches me_. And he seems to feel like he’s entitled to some kind of relationship with me, like the fact that strangers will know both our names has us down in some sort of _club_.” Harry vented to Severus, having already yelled half of these things at Hermione and Ron in the common room.

Severus drew him in for a hug and a tea cup floated over and nudged him.

“The _imbecile_ thinks it the height of human accomplishment, to be a name on everybody’s lips. You know better. If I could get him fired, I’d jump on the chance, believe me.”

Harry had smiled at that and drunk his tea.

Waking up to hands on his body still made him flinch. It was only as he realised it was Wood that he slowly relaxed. It was Saturday and heinously early, but Wood dragged him down to the pitch for practice, grumbling about not having any enemy eyes on them.

Harry was all for competition and Quidditch, but sometimes, Wood took things a bit too far sometimes.

When he got to the pitch, the whole team was in various states of not-really-awake, and Harry couldn’t help but snicker.

They ran through drills and warmups, but before they really got into plays, the Slytherin team walked onto the pitch. Wood looked thunderous as he talk-yelled with Flint and the Gryffindor team flanked him.

“New seeker?” Wood asked, and the Slytherin team parted, smirking with their all black brooms as they revealed Malfoy behind them.

Harry didn’t notice Hermione and Ron having made it down to the pitch until Hermione jumped in to defend the Weasley brothers’ by mocking Malfoy for having to buy his place on the team.

Malfoy flinched and Harry watched him swallow, before his face twisted into something cold and horrible and he spat out a comeback.

_Mudblood_.

Harry didn’t know what it meant, but guessed that Wizards strange blood-politics had come into play. The whole Gryffindor side gasped as one, before Ron pushed himself through the team, wand raised. He had almost finished casting a hex at Malfoy when shields erupted between the two teams and a thunderous voice sounded.

“ ** _Never_** use that word, Mr. Malfoy! Gryffindors, off the pitch, I’ve reserved it for the Slytherin team. Disperse!”

Harry hadn’t ever heard _quite_ that tone of anger and objection from Severus before. Especially lately. He noticed that even though Ron had his wand raised, Severus just dismissed the Gryffindors instead of using the opportunity to dock points.

He grabs Ron and Hermione and walks off the pitch. He can see that Ron is still too angry to get back to the castle, so in a fleeting attempt to get him somewhere, Harry suggests they go visit Hagrid.

Harry can’t help but sneak down to Severus’s chambers that evening. He figures, if Severus is busy, he’ll be sent back up to his dorm. No harm no foul? Or something.

He’s not prepared for the hissing “I won’t be taking another one of your attempts to make this better, Mr. Malfoy.”

He flinched back at the cold tone, even though it wasn’t actually for him.

When Severus spotted him, his face fell and paled and he held out his arm slowly, inviting Harry in.

Harry scurried in the door, for once avoiding brushing against Severus.

“I did not mean, Harry, that was, I’m not mad at you.”

Harry mumbled under his breath, and then flinched, knowing that was rude.

Severus sighed again, and just retreated into the kitchenette to put up tea. He summoned a House Elf and asked him to go retrieve Lily’s blanket, knowing they’d need all the comfort they could tonight.

He came back to the couch with the tea and floated the blanket over to Harry.

He got a small smile in return and felt a bit of tension leave him. He’d seen the flinches, and been worried Harry wouldn’t be able to relax with him tonight. This was going to be hard enough already.

“Today, my godson, Draco Malfoy said a word I had hoped never to hear on this campus again, especially spoken by a student.” Severus began, stilted in his speech as it was a hard topic.

“It belongs to a way of speech most common to old-fashioned Purebloods and in the more recent decades, Death Eaters.”

Severus was feeling more and more sick and wasn’t sure how he was going to get through explaining the meaning of the word, before even getting to the point.

As he was trying to compose himself, Harry butted in, his voice quiet and careful.

“We went to Hagrid’s after, cause Ron was pretty close to exploding. Hagrid and Ron explained it.”

Severus breathed out. He wasn’t happy this was a thing that Harry or Ms. Granger had to learn, and especially not this way, but he was secretly glad he hadn’t needed to explain it.

“It’s a disgusting prejudice, like most of the stance around blood in Wizards. It’s not like Ms. Granger or, your mother have been found lacking in magic, in comparison to their peers, quite the opposite really.” Severus admitted.

He looked over at Harry, saw his emerald green eyes and looked away. Like this wasn’t hard enough, he had someone constantly reminding him of Lily right there, while admitting to his sins.

“Well, keeping that in mind, my stay at Hogwarts was a bit … tumulus. I got in, hand in hand with your mother, and for the first few years, we juggled our friendship, despite different houses and quite different social lives. I wasn’t much better liked as a student than as a Professor, so I kept mostly to Lily.

That made it so that when her social group just expanded through the years, it felt a bit like she could just, and maybe should, cut me off. I started trying to find more friends, but at that time, Death Eaters were recruiting in the Slytherin house. So, my new _friends_ , were really Death Eaters, or boys waiting to be marked. That influenced how they talked, and how they expected me to talk.

I’m ashamed to say, that the thought of belonging, of having a group to back me up after years of your father and his group of friends antagonising me, was too luring. I let myself start to use the words they used, talk about people like they did and eventually, that had to bleed over to how I interacted with your mother.”

Severus chanced a glance up at Harry again and saw him staring at him, listening intently.

“Your father and his friends got me pretty good one day, and I was humiliated and angry and as your mother stepped up to defend me, it didn’t feel like helping and I … I yelled that word at her.”

Severus rubbed his hands over his face, feeling disgusting all over again, remembering it.

“It was the end of our friendship. I try my best not to use that particular term anymore, but hearing it said here, brought it all back.”

They sat there, in silence for a while, as Severus buried his face in his hands. How could he look at Harry, look into those eyes now. Now that he knew?

He was surprised when he felt small arms circle him and the blanket cover him on one end.

“Thank you for letting us go today. I noticed you didn’t punish Ron for point a wand at Malfoy, it was a bit odd.”

Severus let out a broken chuckle at that. Most student wouldn’t have thought that was Severus being kind, but Harry did.

“I never want you to excuse the word, or the usage of it, but I want you to know I _never_ thought your mother was any _less_ than the rest of us. I’ve never seen a reason to rank Witches and Wizards on their blood, as long as they have magic. I’d much rather rank them on their skill. What the Death Eaters and then Voldemort found in me, was a certain hatred of Muggles.”

Severus stated, unsure if he was really ready to go into this. But, if they were going to have a night of hard truths, then maybe it was best to get them all out of the way.

“I’m a Half-Blood, as is, interestingly enough, the Dark Lord. We were both born to Muggle fathers, although we both tend to hide that fact. I don’t know more about the Dark Lord, but on my account, my father fostered nothing but hatred in my heart for him during my childhood. He was a poor lazy bastard who liked to terrorise the people nearest to him. Whether that was by beating my mother or by yelling at me, he enjoyed it. Even though I grew up around Muggles, my window to them was mostly of my father and later, your Aunt. Not exactly the brightest and kindest of them all, you know?”

Harry nodded against Severus, as Severus wrapped the blanket around them closer, tugging Harry into his arms.

“When I told you to call it abuse, I wasn’t speaking as someone who didn’t know what they were talking about. I have found, excusing people’s behaviour just leads to two worse things. One, blaming yourself for how they act, and two, thinking that their behaviour is normal, is how people act.”

Harry sniffed in his arms and Severus kissed his hair, praying Lily would forgive him for laying it all so bare. It could be overwhelming, Severus knew. He had never tolerated Lily talking about his home life, had _hid_ that part of himself as best he could.

“But that’s untrue, Harry. We are not to blame for people abusing us, and just because someone acts like that, does not mean everyone will. I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk about it yet, or if you can’t call it that, but I hope you think about it, and I hope you see that I’m right. It’ll help you heal, faster than I did, by any luck.”

Harry was now gripping him, and his head was buried in Severus’s shoulder. Severus wasn’t sure how they were okay after all that, but he just tugged the blanket closer, closed his eyes and let himself take comfort in it all.

Harry left Severus’s chambers that evening with a heavy heart and lots of thoughts.

It was hard to think about how his Mom’s life and his Dad’s and Severus’s all seemed so entangled, and not all in good ways. How was he supposed to balance all of that.

He knew that he still trusted Severus, still took comfort from him, but it was hard to wrap his head around all that he’d shared tonight.

On top of that, Severus had brought up and pointed out his condition at the Dursley’s, which Harry was all for dumping in a box and forgetting about, to be frank.

He slumped up to his dorm, not noticing anything else, sure he wouldn’t sleep well that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is like the angstiest chapter in this whole series I think ... I'll fix it, sometime I promise.


	3. Stunted Nightmares and Mounting Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't celebrate Halloween much, but I just realised I wrote this pretty appropriately on time. 
> 
> Halloween never brings good things for Harry Potter, does it? 
> 
> Thing continue to be a bit more angsty than before.

Harry had the strangest night. He felt the nightmares coming on, whispers of his Mom, his Dad, Severus and yelling and bad, horrible words and spells being used.

They couldn’t get all the way to him though. It felt like something was stopping them. He woke up the next morning on time to go for breakfast, feeling much more rested than he had expected. As he stepped off the bed, his eyes came upon the Dream-Catcher on his bedpost, and for a second, felt as if magic sprung off it. Maybe it had helped keep the dreams away.

He went down to breakfast, not noticing much in the way of people, before Luna gently touched his arm.

“I’m glad it helped, Harry,” she said, her voice firm. “But it’ll help more to talk it through. The Catcher can’t keep your own thoughts away forever.”

Harry barely figured out what she meant before she disappeared from the Great Hall again. When he got it, he smiled. Luna was a good friend. It was rare for people to read him correctly.

He spent the rest of the day in a fog of thoughts, and therefore, couldn’t be blamed when he didn’t immediately notice the voice whispering in the walls.

Yes, in the walls.

_Loose, want to kill, want to be free,_

He couldn’t hear it anymore, it had tapered off before disappearing completely.

Maybe his thoughts, his beaten back nightmares were finally breaking free?

He ran the rest of the way up to his dorm. He didn’t dare go to sleep, afraid of the voice, afraid of his dreams, his thoughts, of Luna’s words.

He grabbed a book, the one Severus had read for him already and made do with Wizarding night time stories before he fell asleep in all his clothes.

Severus hadn’t seen much of Harry on Sunday, but he figured the boy had a lot to process. He hoped he was doing okay, and he felt this itch to make sure.

But alas, they were at Hogwarts. If Severus was any other parent, he wouldn’t even get to see Harry at this time and if Harry was any other child, he would have to make due with Owl Post and memories.

Those other parents, and those other children had 11 years of experience before Hogwarts though, and Severus thought he could maybe cut the pair of them some slack, seeing as they’d barely had two months.

Harry had to run through a shower on Monday morning, but he just thanked whoever listening that he hadn’t had nightmares during the night.

He didn’t hear the voices again, though he remained tense for it. Wednesday arose and he had his scheduled evening with Severus.

It started out stilted and awkward, but Harry could tell that Severus was worried about him, which in turn made Harry warm. He didn’t have a lot of experience of people being worried about him. He’d listened to Ron and Hermione whine about worried parents for most of last year, in some way or the other, but to him, it had always seemed like such a good thing to be annoyed over.

“I… I expected to have nightmares this weekend, but Luna’s Dream Catcher helped.” Harry started, wanting to get this over with. Severus had done nothing but try and help him with his problems for the whole of the summer and Luna had told him he’d have to solve this.

“It just, I’ve always wanted to know more about my parents, always wanted to _know them_. I don’t think I ever thought of the alternative that it could be mixed with something bad.”

Severus choked, before coughing a bit and then croaking out, “I never meant, Harry, we were children.”

“You still haven’t let it go, everybody said you didn’t like me because of my Dad.” Harry pointed out, just because he didn’t think that was a good excuse. Children could do plenty of damage. Dudley hadn’t ever held back his punches, not like Vernon had had to.

Severus rubbed his hand over his face again, looking a bit defeated. Harry hadn’t wanted to raise the tension to this again, but it felt like they couldn’t get out of this loop.

“Harry, I want to stop, and apologise for that. No matter my feelings for that time, or for your father, I shouldn’t have mixed you up in that.

Further on, I have to admit, that until this summer, I had let myself hold onto all the wrong parts of my relationship with your mother. I had clung on to hating those I felt had stolen her from me, whether that was Gryffindor itself, your father and his friends, even someone like Amelia Bones. It was silly and stupid, and that’s a truth most children don’t ever learn. Adults can be very silly.”

Harry laughed a little at that. He’d never had an adult suggest it was alright to … disrespect other adults like this. Severus didn’t mind he called Lockhart and Voldemort stupid and now he’d called himself silly.

“I hadn’t meant to tell you all that Saturday to make you think your father was a bad man. He was a slightly misguided child, egged on by his surroundings and situation and I know for a fact, that he grew up to become something very different from that. He just didn’t live long enough for me to completely change my impression of him. When you meet his friends, you’ll find that they have quite the different view of him.”

Harry frowned for a second, tilting his head and staring at Severus for a second, before realising. “So, it’s like how you seem to like Malfoy, and care for him, but my view of him is just that he’s slimy and mean? And how I thought you were evil all last school year, but really, you were protecting me? We see what we want to see of people sometime, don’t we?”

Severus looked at him, stunned for a second, before a small smile rose on his lips and he held his hand out to Harry.

“Yes, Harry, exactly like that.”

Time seemed to fly a bit after that. Harry felt lighter and even though he felt the Dream-Catcher did its job, he didn’t feel it spark off excess energy any other morning. He forgot about the murmur in the walls, and he did his best to ignore Lockhart.

October brought rain, and more Quidditch and a busy life. Dividing his time between schoolwork, Ron and Hermione, Ginny and Luna, even that little kid, Creevy, it almost made him miss the simple life of the Dursley’s. _Almost_.

It got so much, that he sometimes spent his evenings with Severus just doing homework, enjoying the peace and quiet; the safety of Severus’s chambers. It almost felt like Spinner’s End in the summer. Just him and his books and his parchment.

Right before Halloween, Harry came in from a late Quidditch practice, grimacing slightly at the wet squelching sound of his shoes. He’d changed in the lockers, but it hadn’t helped much, he’d had to walk through a part of the grounds to get back in to the main castle and he’d managed to step right into a puddle as he greeted Nearly-Headless Nick.

He felt horrible that Nick was being excluded, even in the afterlife. That felt wrong, that ghosts had bullying too. It seemed everyone had bullying. Parents, ghosts, Hogwarts. Nothing was safe from it.

That was how, at the end of an exciting and horrible night, he had accepted an invitation to a Death-Day Party. He didn’t much like Halloween anyway.

Severus was confused when Harry didn’t show for the Halloween feast. He’d meant to invite the boy back to his chambers after the eating, knowing they both shared sadder connotation to this night than the rest of the castle. He thought for a second that maybe the boy hadn’t even wanted to do the feast, but then he noticed that neither Hermione nor Ron were there either.

It left Severus antsy.

Trouble followed those three, especially when they were someplace where they shouldn’t.

He wanted to go off to search for them, but he had no reason to. No reason to up and leave the High Table during Feast. He just had to sit there and pray, to whoever, to _Lily_ , that the boy, that Harry, that his …, that he would be safe.

When the students excited the Hall, Severus followed, wanted to go up to the tower and see if he could find them. He would not be able to sleep until he knew Harry was safe.

He felt worry bubble in his chest, and it felt strange and horrid, he remembered the Halloween 11 years ago, feeling like this, not knowing.

His pace sped up, unconsciously.

He broke through the crowd as he heard Argus scream.

He saw the cat first, its ugly form petrified on the lamp and he battled the bile rising in his throat.

Next, he noticed Harry and relief flooded through him, but with it, all the worry had to convert to something and he felt himself bubble over.

“Where-ever have you been?!” he yelled and only managed to clamp down on the rest of his speech as he took notice of three more things all at once; Harry flinching from him at the sound of his yell, the crowd around them and last but not in any way least, the writing on the wall.


	4. Wary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And more angst. Are they past repear? 
> 
> Harry has conflicting feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hard to get out, and then also hard to know if it was enough. I wrote the next chapter before posting, cause I was unsure, but I think, now, I like it. Prepare for a pit in your stomach. It's short, but packs a punch.

Harry couldn’t quite wrestle himself under control.

Filch had just assumed, as soon as he saw him!

And then, Severus had come, and Harry had been so relieved, but then.

Then Severus had yelled at him. He’d sounded angry too, but not like he had last year, where his acid tone had always been this sort of calm and calculated, evil villain kind. No, his voice was filled with emotion and it was so loud and Harry couldn’t help but want to get away from it.

Then Dumbledore had come through and he’d asked Harry questions, like he also blamed Harry.

They’d just … been at the wrong spot.

Okay, so Harry had been following the voice, but Ron had looked so startled, so scared and creeped out when Harry had mentioned it, when Harry had insisted on hearing something they couldn’t hear, that he didn’t really want to admit to that in front of what looked to be a sizable portion of the school.

Filch had kept yelling, insisting Harry had done this, had intentionally targeted him, and then someone from the crowd had read out loud the words on the wall, and whispers begun amongst the students.

Harry heard things like _Muggles, Muggleborn, won_ _’t be safe for much longer, thought he liked that girl there,_ and he felt queasy.

They’ve been dismissed and Severus had held up a hand as if to stop Harry, but Harry had just grabbed Hermione and Ron and stormed off. He just couldn’t deal with more yelling.

Hermione was looking at him like he was a time-bomb and Ron looked like he wanted to say something, but Harry hissed out a “ _shut it_ _”_ and just stalked up to the dorm. Behind his bed curtains, that were imbued with silencing charms, Harry let himself scream into a pillow.

How could the night have gone _quite so badly?_

Even Luna’s Dream Catcher didn’t save him from nightmares that night.

He dreamed of Uncle Vernon screaming, and Aunt Petunia yelling and then they morphed into Severus screaming at him, which shocked him into another sequence.

He was at Hogwarts, but the walls were darker, slimy and disgusting, damp. The voice, high, body-less and unknown echoing in the hall. Then, it started to echo inside his own head, before, it felt like it was his voice. _Let me tear, let me kill_.

Harry woke in the morning, feeling nauseous and bone tired.

He went through the day, surprised and then frustrated that Hogwarts collectively seemed to have decided he was to blame for this. Filch followed him around everywhere, when he wasn’t guarding the spot Mrs. Norris was found.

Harry did his best to avoid Severus, both to avoid whatever Severus had thought about the whole thing; he’d been mad enough to yell, and Harry wasn’t prepared to deal with that and to avoid Severus himself. He hadn’t really had to deal with an angry Severus since he got away from the Dursley’s. Severus had promised to … or hadn’t he? He’d been so good to him, took such good care of him, but maybe this would ruin it.

The whole school seemed to have decided that he was a stone-cold murderer. Maybe Severus would think he was … evil. It didn’t seem like Severus wanted that around himself anymore.

It was easy to get caught up in all the things people were saying about him. Even Ron and Hermione were a bit on edge around him, because of the voice he’d mentioned.

“It’s not normal for someone to hear voices, even in the Wizarding World, mate.” Ron had said and it cycled through Harry’s nightmares all week.

He couldn’t tell Severus. Could he?

He didn’t notice for the first two days, but soon enough, he started noticing that Severus kept trying to run into him.

“I don’t want. I can’t, I just can’t, _deal_ with him,” Harry told Ron and Hermione, and even Luna when they hung around the library sometimes.

His friends were truly brilliant. They made sure that Harry never ended up alone with Severus, and thus, could not have whatever conversation that Severus wanted to have, that Harry was not ready for.

And then, Wednesday rolled up. Even with all the turmoil, something in Harry rebelled at not getting “family-time” as he’d started dubbing it, even though he kept that to himself.

He also wasn’t sure how he could get himself out of it either. If he pushed Severus far enough of away, would Severus abandon him? Leave him to the Dursley’s?

He got down to the chamber door promptly at 5 that afternoon, knocking even as his whole body felt like it was going to run off.

Severus opened and he looked shocked. He also looked sad and tired. Sort of like Harry had looked all week, when he had bothered looking in a mirror.

“Harry,” he gasped out and quickly moved aside so Harry could enter. He didn’t seem to know what to do with himself and then, as Harry hesitantly sat down on the couch, letting his schoolbag fall to the floor, Severus lowered himself to sit on the floor right in front of Harry.

Harry couldn’t help but relax. This position didn’t indicate that Severus meant to yell at him, or worse, beat him. Didn’t look like Severus was going to try and … _force him_ to do anything.

Severus looked a bit more sad as he looked Harry over and Harry almost felt the need to make it better. But he was still so unsure, that he didn’t dare give away his better position.

Severus’s heart felt like it was breaking. He hadn’t slept for more than an hour or two a night since Halloween. Plagued with guilt; the memory of Harry flinching away from his yell haunting him worse than any ghost could. Then Harry had avoided him, made sure they were never alone - yes, Severus had noticed Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger guarding him and felt horrible. These children thought Harry needed protection against him.

“Harry, I know I scared you on Halloween. I did not mean to, I did not mean to yell. I had been worried about you during dinner, since you weren’t there. I have to admit, I was terrified when you were then found at the center of that … particular event.” Severus said, knowing pleading was crawling into his voice, but for once not caring.

Harry seemed to settle a bit more comfortably into the couch and then muttered, “I get it. Doesn’t matter. I have homework to do.”

Severus was disappointed, but got that he’d made them take 5 step back with his yelling and just hoped they wouldn’t have more setbacks before he could fix this. He made tea and made sure Harry had Lily’s blanket, biting his lips bitterly, in an effort to clamp down on his feelings as he noticed how Harry’s hair was more chaotic and unmanageable then ever.

He didn’t bother Harry, hoping that by playing the long game and keeping his chambers a safe space, Harry would move back towards him. Harry worked on his homework and Severus was happy to see that the peace and quiet did seem to help as he sped through parchment.

He’d noticed how the whole school was being around Harry and imagined he wasn’t getting much space to get his things done.

He’d hoped Harry would discuss some of it with him, but he didn’t want to push. Not tonight.

Just as Harry left, Severus, careful and slow, reached out a hand and when Harry didn’t move away, he clamped it down on his shoulder.

“I’m here for you, Harry. I really am sorry for Halloween.”

As the boy left for his dorm, Severus prayed things would get better soon.


	5. Parent and Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally make up, slightly, although, not in the best circumstances?

As people slowly started to simmer down, Harry came a bit out of his bubble. He hadn’t noticed how tight he’d kept his tunnel-vision, until suddenly, it was middle of November and he realised he hadn’t hung out with Ginny in _ages._

As he realised this, he noticed that Ginny was almost never anywhere for long. She was up in her dorm, alone, an inordinate amount of time, and Luna said she hadn’t been seeing her either. Percy seemed to be of the thought that Ginny was terrified of the Chamber being opened, but to Harry, that sounded quite out of character.

Ron and Hermione weren’t giving _him_ a lot of alone-time though, so it was hard to figure out.

When he did see Ginny, for meals and such, she looked skittish and afraid and Harry could see where Percy was coming from. She seemed to shake whenever someone mentioned the Chamber, but Harry was mostly worried that she didn’t seem to _talk to anyone._

When Ginny had gotten over the worst of the hero-worship of him, over the summer, he’d found her to be an unstoppable chatting machine. Whatever was bothering Ginny was great.

Harry’s new mission in life, was figuring out what was wrong with one Ginny Weasley.

Maybe he took it on to avoid the taunts from the rest of the school about him, maybe it was to avoid dealing with his now stilted relationship with Severus - who he was still seeing every Wednesday afternoon, but now it was only to cram as much homework into those quiet peaceful times - or if it was just because he didn’t like seeing his friends hurting.

He just knew, that whenever Wood wasn’t dragging him out for Quidditch practice and Hermione and Ron weren’t trying to distract him from the whole Chamber business, he was trying to get through to Ginny.

The first day, he followed her, trying to catch her for a chat, but all he found was an empty girls bathroom where Myrtle, one of the ghosts from the Deathday Party apparently lived. Or you know … not-lived.

When she spotted him, he couldn’t quite just leave, knowing Myrtle tended to be easily hurt and offended. So instead of getting a chat with Ginny, all he got was an hour of listening to Myrtle’s problems.

It took him a week to catch up to Ginny.

“Hey Ginny.” He said, as he finally found Ginny in a corner of the library. It was a cramped corner, hadn’t looked like a place anyone would like to sit in when he approached.

Ginny violently startled at his greeting. Harry took a step back. He knew that kind of reaction. This did not bode well.

“Oh, Harry, I didn’t see you coming,” she squeaked and Harry help up his hands, still low and then sat down on the floor a bit away from Ginny.

He couldn’t help but think back to how Severus had done this for him after Halloween. He didn’t linger on it, just hoped it would work here too. And that it would work better, to be frank.

“I haven’t seen you much. I thought maybe you’d found yourself busy with your classmates, found some friends.” Harry said, hoping if he just … kept tugging at the edge of Ginny’s new walls, that he’d get inside again.

Ginny looked down, and Harry thought he could see a blush.

“I found a friend, but … Hogwarts isn’t quite what I thought it would be. Everybody is so mean to you, and they’re all so worried. I thought this was supposed to be safe, what with Dumbledore here.”

Harry looked her over and admitted that maybe Percy _had_ a point. Ginny did seem scared.

“I’ve found it to be more complicated than that,” Harry responded, knowing it was of no help. He had taken to being honest when he did not know what to say. At least you could always defend his words that way.

Ginny looked over at him, so sad and scared that Harry didn’t even think before he sneaked a hand over her shoulder and tugged her closer. It always made him feel better when Severus did it.

\- Severus hadn’t done this since before Halloween, but that was Harry’s own fault, wasn’t it. Sometimes he wasn’t brave like his House said -

“We will just have to hold on to each other and hope things run their course without too much damage, don’t we?”

Harry felt slightly uncomfortable with his apparent philosophical words, so he decided to shut up. They sat there for a while, until growling stomachs told them it was time for food and they rose. Harry made sure to hold onto Ginny’s hand, made sure to keep her with him through the meal, and sat with her in the common room as they finished their homework in the evening.

He couldn’t change everything, but he could try to help his friends as best he could.

Harry couldn’t eat anything the morning of the Quidditch match. He knew Hermione and Severus were glaring at him, willing him to eat, but he never could. A match, it just built too much tension to make any room for food.

It was one of the few things that filled him with _good tension_ and he preferred to savour it.

Wood gave them a speech on being the better talent, the better _team_ and Harry felt warmth and excitement build within him. He belonged here. He was an important member of this team. He didn’t even take offense when Wood told him to _catch the snitch or die_.

However, out there, that warmth sank to a brick in his stomach as the Bludgers followed him around. This felt equally disturbing as last year’s broom accident, and he automatically sought out Severus. The man had protected him last year and he had a better reason to do so now. Harry hoped.

He tried to keep in mind that no one here wanted to see him dead, but with the obviously cursed Bludger trying to _kill him_ , it was hard to think positive.

Instead, he focused all his energy on trying to find the snitch. Find the snitch, stop the game, get the Bludgers locked away. A nice enough goal.

He saw it and Draco saw it and the Bludgers saw Harry and then several things happened at once.

Somehow, Harry was on the ground, and nothing hurt but for his arm, and he had the snitch in his hand and that hurt too and then.

Lockhart was there. How was _Lockhart_ the first person to reach him. The Gryffindor team were right there with him, but far too many at the school still respected the title of Professor, so they gave him room to examine Harry. Only George and Fred were looking wary, but Harry was focused on Lockhart, on getting away, on not letting him _touch._

“I really think we should just take him to Madam Pomfrey, Professor. We’ve got the experience, we can support him fine,” Fred was trying to argue, and George was already going up on Harry’s good side and propping up his side so he could grab onto him.

“No need, my boys, no need. I will fix this. Just a matter of a simple charm. Just you see.”

Harry, panicked now, couldn’t really focus on Fred and George’s replies, but they sounded angry and concerned, but all Harry could hear and see was Lockhart pointing a wand at him.

As a spell shot out of the wand, Harry expected pain, but what he felt instead was an absence of pain. He looked down at his arm, thinking for a second, that maybe Lockhart had managed what he’d meant. But no. Instead, Harry was faced with a sight that made him want to vomit.

“Oh, yes, that can happen sometimes. But no pain, anymore, my boy, is there?”

Harry didn’t get to reply. George and Fred had finally decided to just take matters into their own hands, and, one on each side of Harry, supported him to his feet and then proceeded to half drag, half help him to the Hospital Wing.

That didn’t stop him from hearing a familiar cold, hissing voice lay into Lockhart like he meant to bury him. _Good._

Severus had never been this angry. Not this, _pure anger_. No, his trauma throughout life was mostly mixed with too much helplessness, sadness, disgust, that it was never just pure anger.

Standing in front of Gilderoy Lockhart on the Quidditch Pitch, fighting off the urge to get physical, knowing that would spur someone into removing him, into _defending this disgusting piece of human being_ , knowing he could do far worse damage with his slashing words.

He hoped Minerva would shoo the youngest children away, since he knew his vocabulary was out in full colour, but he didn’t spare it much thought. No, his main concern right now, was _one child_ , _his child_. He wanted to tear Lockhart apart.

He let himself have almost ten minutes of verbally shredding Lockhart, smirking coldly as the man gradually lost his ever-present smile and cowered.

It was only as George Weasley grasped his shoulder, and as Severus turned, planning to chew out the person that dared interrupt him, Mr. Weasley stood firm and serious, without backing down.

“Harry’s asking for you, Professor.” George said, before tugging slightly and looking like he didn’t want to be here, like he wanted to get back and Severus snapped back into reality. He should be with his child. Who was asking for him.

“I’m not finished with you Lockhart. If you ever so much as lay a hand, or lift a wand to my son again, you’ll regret the day you were ever born.” Severus hissed out, before quickly following after the twin.

He was distracted, rightly so, so he didn’t hear the gasps and whispers that folllowed in the wake of his last words, but Minerva couldn’t help but smile. It seemed Severus was growing, finally, up.

Harry was shaking. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind that Pomfrey would help but in this moment, he didn’t want anyone trying to _fix_ him. He just wanted to … he just wanted Severus. He wanted to be cared for. He wanted an _adult_ , that could decide for him. Could deal with things for him.

He knew there were a lot of people around him, but most were keeping there space. He might’ve reacted a bit violently when someone tried to touch him after the twins deposited him on the bed.

Suddenly, the voices all quieted down and he felt someone get close. He wasn’t entirely sure how he felt that, since he’d closed his eyes right after doing some magnificent yelling, but he could. He dared to open his eyes, knowing better than to let someone new catch him off guard. He’d raise his wand in turn if someone tried to spell him again.

“It’s me, Harry. Can I come closer?” Harry heard the voice before he could focus his eyes enough to see and relief washed over him. All the tension between them from Halloween seemed to evaporate, or at least, seemed so insignificant in the face of this.

If Severus was here, Harry didn’t have to be strong anymore. Severus would make it better. He’d done so before. He’d taken Harry out of that horrible house, surely he could fix a stupid arm.

He furrowed his brow as the world didn’t come into focus, but just blurred further, but then realised that he was crying. He stuttered out a “he _touched me again,_ he cast something on me. He didn’t ask, he just _did,_ ” And hopeed Severus got it.

He heard Severus cuss under his breath, before he came a bit closer and asked, voice quiet, like he was making sure the others didn’t hear, making sure to be gentle and Harry thought, _how could I have doubted this man for so long_ , as he was asked “can I touch you now?” and he nodded and then he was encircled in arms, held close by a comforting presence.

“I don’t think _Professor Lockhart,_ ” Severus started, gritting out the name, “will be bothering you again any time soon. I might’ve … given him a piece of my mind, so to speak.”

“Yeah mate, I have _never_ heard Professor Snape quite so … colourful. Rivaled Mom when she’s angry.” George shot in, from a safe distance. Harry couldn’t help but snicker. That was saying something, coming from he least behaved Weasley child.

Now that Harry had Severus holding him, he risked bringing his good hand up to wipe his eyes and saw that Ron and Hermione and the twins were there, and a worried looking Madam Pomfrey.

“Can you,” Harry started, voice shaking, and soft. He almost felt ashamed, but reasoned, that Dudley had always seemed like he was a toddler whenever he got sick or hurt. He never got to have that, so it didn’t matter if he was twelve. Surely he could have his parent take care of his injury?

_Parent._

It felt scary and Harry shook again, this time in no way related to his injury.

“Can you _take care of it?_ ” he finally managed to ask. Hoping again that Severus would remember what his words referenced.

He was squeezed a bit tighter, before Severus adjusted him so his right arm was visible to the others.

“Poppy, I’m guessing this will need Skele-Grow?” Severus asked, and Harry looked determinately at his left arm, knowing from walking up to the Hospital Wing, that he would just feel nauseous looking at the weird rubber-like arm.

“Right, Professor. I was getting ready to cast a diagnostic charm to check for other injury, but … Mr. Potter made it clear he did not want to be examined.”

Severus stroked a hand calmly up and down Harry’s left arm in comfort before saying to Pomfrey, “Yes, not entirely illogical after such a disastrous casting on his person, but I think we should be fine with that now, Poppy, if you will.”

Harry forced himself to relax as Poppy’s magic ran over him.

“Nothing except the obvious … missing bones. I’m guessing by the display, and whispered rumours that I have you to thank for Mr. Potter’s improved physical state compared to last year?”

Harry felt Severus tense against his back for a second, before he spit out, “The potion, Madam Pomfrey?” his voice now much colder.

Harry was curious for a second, before Severus squeezed him close once more and Harry decided it was one those things Severus could take care of for Harry.

“This potion is one of the more foul-tasting, and it won’t be pleasant as it works to build the bones back up. I have some Dreamless-Sleep Potion in my chambers I can give you before, so you sleep through most of it, if you’re okay with that?” Severus said quietly to Harry.

Harry nodded and then thought to look over to the foot of his bed to his friends.

“I’m grateful for the help, guys, especially you, Fred and George, but I think this won’t be any fun to watch. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

They nodded, and starting with Hermione, came in to hug him slightly, although it felt a bit awkward with Severus still at his back.

When they were only two left, Madam Pomfrey having retreated to her office, Severus procurred the blue blanket from somewhere.

“House-Elf,” he whispered, as explanation and as he cuddled Harry into the blanket, casting a spell to switch him from uniform to pyjamas, he handed Harry a potion bottle. “This is the Dreamless-Sleep,” and Harry swallowed obediently. It wasn’t pleasant, but Harry downed it in one. “and this is the Skele-Grow. I have a glass of water for you after, to rinse it down, but then I want you try to go to sleep right away. It’ll be best.”

Harry smiled, filled with warm feelings at the care and attention. Severus really just wanted what was best for him.

He wanted to throw up as he finished the second potion, but Severus just held up the water and when Harry finally felt the taste disappear from his mouth, he burrowed down into the bed, feeling Severus’s hand run through his hair, the motion repetitive, and he couldn’t help but fall asleep.


	6. Save Harry Potter, Sir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the moment we've all been waiting for! 
> 
> Or you know, reason 1/2 for me going as far into this story as year 2. Bludger incident.

Harry woke in the dark. At first, he didn’t know what had woken him, but he startled back, suddenly clear to it, as huge, round eyes shone back to him.

Harry looked around, trying to see where he was, and if he could get away, but all he saw was the Hospital Wing. Locked. Severus sleeping in a chair next to the bed, which meant help, but Harry still wasn’t sure he deserved to ask for that help anymore. He’d reacted so badly to Severus on Halloween. Had been so reluctant around him.

“Dobby! What are you doing here?” Harry hissed, hoping against logic that Severus wouldn’t wake.

No such luck. As Dobby gave his greeting involving way too many titles and pleads, Severus jumped up from his chair. Harry tried to reach a hand over to pacify him, but Severus seemed to be even more agitated than Harry expected.

Before he even turned to Dobby, he laid a careful hand on Harry’s shoulder and asked, “are you okay? In any pain?”

Harry felt warm at the show of concern, but they didn’t have time for this. The insane House-Elf was literally standing on his legs, and what did it even matter if Harry was in a little pain. He’d had worse.

He didn’t want to lie to Severus though, so he just tilted his head and pointed to Dobby.

Severus finally seemed to register the House-Elf, and then he put himself right up to the bed, as if he was trying to block Dobby from Harry.

“I was. I am trying to save Harry Potter, Sir.” Dobby squeaked out.

Harry was touched for a moment, but then, he thought about his experiences with the Elf and glared at him.

“Dobby, did you make those Bludgers go off after me?” Harry demanded.

He had to grasp onto Severus’s arm and tug him back, close to Harry, because the man seemed about ready to strangle the small creature in front of him.

“I was only trying to save the Great Harry Potter Sir. You is not safe here. You are not being protected.” Harry tried to cut in here, because he was pretty sure that getting those Bludgers to follow him around in the match was not protecting him either, but Dobby only glared back and then started pointing and glaring at Severus.

“Yous said you protect him. But he found the cat! And hes been alone. You hasnt done what you promised!”

Neither Severus nor Harry knew what to say to that. They still hadn’t really solved their current communication problem, and it seemed the House-Elf was invested.

“Dobby … what you’re doing can’t be better. Trying to save me? I reckon you’re just going to kill me. And I’ve told you before. I won’t be leaving Hogwarts.”

Harry sucked in a breath at the thought and then strived to continue. “I’m doing well at school now, and I’ve got more friends and even though people are being … asshats right now, I’ve still got my friends. I’m still doing well. I don’t _want_ to leave.”

“I think, Elf, that you’re going to have to stop this mission of yours now. Harry can be pretty stubborn when he wants to, and I’d better believe him. I might have been slightly remiss in my duties lately, but I’ve been protecting Harry’s personal choice and feelings. Something you don’t seem to consider.”

“He is in _grave danger!_ ” the Elf shrieked and Harry clamped his hands over his ears. He couldn’t help but yell back though, “I’ve always been in danger. I just want to enjoy life while I can!”

Dobby and Severus, once again, just as months ago, stopped at that.

Severus was starting to think he really needed to have a conversation with Harry about thinking about death. He knew the boy had a very risky life, but it wasn’t healthy for a twelve-year-old to think about his own death and mortality this much.

“Dobby was only trying to help.”

“Yeah, well, I’d appreciate it if you would stop helping.” Harry grit out and Severus looked back at him. The boy was now curled into a ball of tension and grimacing heavily. Severus had a feeling he was in pain on top of all the emotional turmoil.

“We’ve talked about my duty to protect Harry, so Elf, I think it stands to reason, if you ever attempt to _help_ Harry in this manner again, I will be forced to _protect_ him against _you._ ”

As Severus had hoped, the Elf finally seemed to understand and cower slightly. He hadn’t wanted to be reduced down to threats, but if he had to to keep this misguided fool away from his … his, then he would.

As he heard the snap of the Elf’s apparation, he turned back to Harry. As he’d thought, the disappearance of Dobby did little to relax Harry. He quietly called for a Hogwarts-Elf to go to his chambers to pick up a Pain-Reducing Potion and handed it to Harry without words. If the boy didn’t want to acknowledge this pain right now, Severus would grant him the break.

“It works pretty fast, so you should be able to fall asleep again. We have a few things to discuss, but they can wait for morning light, don’t you think?” Severus said, and got a small nod from a miserable looking Harry.

Severus tucked him in with the Hospital duvet and the blue blanket, and leaned down to kiss Harry’s forehead.

“I’ll be here, just sleep.” He promised.

They let themselves eat breakfast in bed, and then the Gryffindor team stopped by, and Wood congratulated Harry for the win, as the rest of the team shook their head. Wood’s priorities were clearly well known within the team.

All in all, it wasn’t until after lunch had been served, and Madam Pomfrey actually released Harry from the Hospital Wing, with a quiet word to Severus about potions that could help, that they could talk.

They retreated to Severus’s chambers and Harry curled up on the couch with the blanket, but, unlike the past month, Harry reached out a hand, and tugged Severus down beside him.

Severus didn’t look a gift-horse in the mouth and tugged Harry closer against him.

“I know I said it before, but Harry, I’m really sorry I yelled. Even if I was worried, I should control myself better. I know what it means to you. I never wanted you to have to bear that again.” Severus whispered into the quiet and felt Harry tense and shake lightly in his arms.

He was happy when Harry didn’t retreat from his arms, as this could only mean progress.

“I had, I had nightmares. About the Dursley’s, and then … it was you and I just … it felt hard to separate them from reality.

It also felt like you were yelling like anyone else, like you thought I was to blame, that you thought it was me,” Harry choked out and Severus tugged him close, feeling like shit.

Not only did Harry now equate him with those _monsters_ , but felt he was just as ridiculous in assuming Harry’s fault in anything as the other teachers.

“I promise that’s not what it was. I would never think you capable of that, or think you were to blame. I just … I just worried about my child,” Severus let himself say. He’d thought it many enough time by now, and Harry deserved the truth now, if they were ever going to repair this.

Harry sucked in a breath and Severus held his own. “Your child?” Harry asked, his voice hesitant, but hopeful.

“Yes, Harry. I don’t think I can call you anything else by now. I worry as a parent, I care as a parent, I want the best for you, as a parent. I’m never going to replace your parents, nor do I want to try. But I want to give you something right now. So, if you don’t mind, that’s what I’ll think of you as. Maybe even talk about you. You don’t have to do the same. All I want is for you to be safe and happy.”

Harry didn’t say anything for long, but then he whispered out, “I’d like that. I’m not sure I want to call you anything other than Sev-Severus, but I’ve started thinking of you as a parent.”

Severus couldn’t help but smile.

“You can call me Sev if you want, but preferably, only in private. Minerva is never going to let me live it down if she hears that.” Severus said, snickering a bit at the thought of Minerva’s face.

“Okay, so what was Dobby on about? Is there more I should know about?”

Harry waited a while, before shaking his head and saying, “I think he just meant people have been harassing me for being the one opening the Chamber. I guess they would be even worse if they knew I was a Parselmouth, eh?”

Severus scoffed and said, “yes, I imagine that,” and then it seemed they were mostly right again, as Harry snickered.

They hid in Severus’s chambers for the rest of the day, as Severus pampered Harry with good food, in-between thrusting pain potions at him.

It was only in the evening, as Harry retreated back to Gryffindor tower, that the somber atmosphere told him that something had happened.

He felt a bit empty when he was told. Colin Creevy, the small first year with the wizard camera had been found, petrified, just outside the Hospital Wing.

Harry went to sleep, his heart a bit more heavy then he’d thought when he left Severus’s chambers.

Harry, along with the rest of Gryffindor, felt very somber for the next two weeks. The weather was dreary, the light only stayed in the sky for a few hours in the middle of classes and for a while, it felt fitting.

Then came snow. It spread over the Hogwarts grounds like a beautiful white blanket and it yelled out for children to come and play in it.

It felt weird when they knew there was a fellow House-mate that just … didn’t get to see the snow. Didn’t get to see Hogwarts in all her white winter glory.

They lasted a day, before Colin was pushed to the back of their minds.

Snowball fights, snowmen and forts were built and the whole castle seemed to think the Chamber business must be over, surely, the light and bright snow couldn’t co-exist with such horrors?

Harry was getting very good at pushing things to the back of his mind. He’d tried his hardest to forget the voice from Halloween, blaming the cold, the tiredness, his hungry stomach, and last, but not least, his hatred for Halloween night in general.

He also made the effort to ignore the rest of the school, who seemed, for a lack of another option, to cling to the idea that he was responsible for the petrified first year and cat.

He spent his time, busy as ever, trying to keep up with schoolwork, seeing Severus once a week and Quidditch.

On top of that, his circle of friends had rapidly expanded for the trio of him, Hermione and Ron of last year.

He still traveled classes with them, but now, he tried to sit with Ginny almost every meal, and he studied equally much with Neville and Luna in the library - even sometimes with Ron, Hermione and Ginny at the table too, studying.

His roaster was quite full and before he knew it, Minerva was putting up a list for people to sign up if they were staying over the Holiday.

Hermione had already said she’d go home again and Harry knew that the fact that no one seemed to know anything about the Chamber of Secrets - despite numerous hushed whispered conversations none of them had come up with a plausible explanation - was driving her slightly insane. Maybe a few weeks at home would fix things.

Harry almost put his name up without thinking, but then, on second thought decided to go ask Severus about it.

“I mean, if you want to, you can stay at the dorm for the Holidays, but we could also spend it together. I have a few days I have to be here for patrol and such, but I have Christmas free for example. We could spend some in my chambers here, and some home in Spinners End.”

Harry’s heart seemed to grow a few sizes at the word _home_ , said so casually, but he just nodded and replied, “That sounds really nice. I have to admit, I’m getting a bit tired of the loud dorm. Plus … I kind of miss getting to just stay here. Like … not have to go back to my dorm every night.”

Harry felt a bit awkward admitting that, but then Severus gathered him into a hug and said, “Yeah, I’m looking forward to having you with me more,” and Harry just felt warm.

When Harry declared he was spending the Holiday with Severus, Ron let out a small sigh of relief and announced he was heading home too. It seemed most of the castle was leaving, and Harry couldn’t blame them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so right at this moment, I have zero motivation to write the Holidays, I have like ... little to no clue what could happen then, since there's not like ... plot relevant things happening, and I'm not sure where I'm going with it. 
> 
> This means, it might be a bit longer 'til the next chapter. After that one, should be full steam ahead, since I'm already writing the new year. I just ... I'm avoiding the holidays. Send me motivation you guys!


	7. Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holidays !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might not be long, but how long can I really make fluff in this fic, after that whole summer piece?

Harry was in heaven. It might seem like an exaggeration, but for Harry, this was as good as life had ever offered.

Sure, the late month of the summer had been pretty great too, with him living with Severus and getting to read and getting to see the Weasley’s, but it had still been plagued with a certain amount of tension. Harry had constantly had to tell himself that he should let Severus handle things, and that this was safe, and so on.

Now, Harry was just … at peace. After a whole term of gossip and whispers, spending time with only himself and Severus brought such a feeling of safety and oh Merlin it was quiet.

They talked and they decorated a little and they read, both each in a corner of the couch, or together, out loud.

It was a family Holiday, in a way Harry had never experienced before.

In the days getting up to Christmas, they moved back to Spinners End and Harry was excited. He’d left a bit of his (or Severus’s) books in his bookcase that he was dying to read and exchange for those he was finished with.

He’d also left some of his more casual wardrobe back there and he loved to lounge in them, feeling, after all the time in-between that they were brand new all over again.

Harry was happy they seemed to be ignoring the situation back at Hogwarts. Severus had disappeared into some shops one afternoon, leaving Harry with his wand out and strengthening the wards before leaving and when he came back, Harry was left speechless.

With a flick of his wand, Severus had decorations filling the living room at Spinners End.

“They’re what I remember Lily liking. Thought we could both do with an excessive Christmas spirit.” Severus said as Harry looked at him shocked.

Harry couldn’t help but rush over and hugging Severus.

They spent the rest of the day going around and fixing some of the decorations, it seemed that magic did not account for taste.

Harry got his mind filled with stories and to his joy, Severus included plenty of detail, so Harry could almost paint a picture of the memories in his thoughts.

He might never have memories of Christmas spent with his Mom and Dad, but spending it with his parent was enough for now.

Tucking in with a fantasy novel Severus had recommended and his blanket around him, Harry thought he could deal with a lot in life if he got to keep this.

Severus lost his breath for almost a full minute on Christmas morning. Harry rushed down the stairs as Severus sipped his tea and waited for the cinnamon buns in the oven to be ready.

Severus had expected the eagerness and rush of the twelve year old boy on Christmas morning, but he had not braced himself for Harry’s hair.

Beautiful and sleek, it almost looked more like Severus’s own hair than James’s.

It blew Severus away to have such a physical sign of the happiness and safety he was bringing Harry. It might be a low bar, since Harry didn’t remember being treated kindly much, but Severus was still so happy to pass it.

Their family Christmas would be perfect, if only because Severus wanted desperately to keep Harry’s hair like that.

Harry was excited and giddy over every single thing. The tea, the warm cinnamon buns that tumbled onto his plate as he finally sat down.

He was excited when Severus showed him into the living room, where he’d put up a tree while Harry was asleep.

He was excited as he ran up the stairs to grab the present he’d gotten Severus.

He looked close to tears as he noticed the sheer amount of presents under the tree.

“I know Minerva got you a little something, we’ve always exchanged gifts. She said something about us being good for each other. Hagrid made me take a present for you and the Weasleys sent over a huge box a few days ago.” Severus explained.

It took some time, but they got through the gifts and by the end of it, Harry had exclaimed love for every single one, even the lopsided scarf he got from Hermione. Severus had opened the gift from Harry, preparing himself to thank gratefully, even if it was something he didn’t need or want, but then he opened the package to find one of the ingredients he’d been trying to get for months. Since the summer, actually.

“How did you know?” he asked Harry, quite taken aback by the fact that Harry had known this. He didn’t even think Harry knew this was a potion ingredient, for all of his skill in Potions.

“I like listening to you argue. It’s like watching a chess game, except less boring. I heard you complaining about the poor quality in Diagon, and then this term, you grumbled about it not being in Hogsmeade either so I asked around, and then asked Arthur to go buy it for me. He sent it by owl a few days ago.”

Severus tugged him in for a hug at that. He hadn’t had anyone pay that much attention to what he said and did since … since those first years with Lily.

As much as Severus enjoyed the giddy and excited Harry, he was almost happy the next day, as things quieted down a bit. They spent the rest of the Holiday ignoring the outer world.

Severus decided to do some experimenting, on a potion. They were back in Hogwarts, because he had patrols, but they never left his chambers except for that. He’d thought Harry would keep to the living chambers as he brewed, but more often than not, Harry joined him in the brewing room, and Severus started narrating what he was doing, remembering how Harry had started asking questions at the end of summer.

As he looked at Harry who was animatedly explaining a potion process, his hair tucked behind his ears, because it was now tame enough to stay there, Severus almost wished they never had to go back to the normal school year.


	8. Dueling Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lockhart is stupid again. 
> 
> Also, I've shifted the timeline a bit, so don't worry if this doesn't all match the books timeline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (for the lucky(unlucky) few that caught this, I first posted this chapter with the wrong summary and title. I guess I should not wait to post until I have the next chapter written. Then this happens)

After the Holidays, Harry had barely gotten back into the routine of classes when a poster was put up on the notice board.

The Brilliant Gilderoy Lockhart

Offers all students

A unique chance to arm themselves

With the ability to

Duel

A dueling club will be offered to those interested

First meeting

Next Wednesday at 5pm

His eyes almost couldn’t read the text, because the poster was charmed with a full-body picture of Lockhart, as big as the paper and stars were flashing off of his smile. The text was in neon pink on a purple background and Harry giggled, as it was as far from screaming “Defend yourself” as possible.

He hadn’t thought to attend, but as the week sailed by, it seemed, by chatter, that everyone was going to be there. Wouldn’t do to miss out, now would it.

What cinched it, was the fact that Severus was _helping_ Lockhart demonstrate at the beginning.

He’d go, if only to watch Severus try to be civil to the man. His rants had been laced with some new hatred ever since Harry’s bones had been spelled away.

The upcoming dueling club occupied most of his thoughts, in-between even more grueling homework - teachers seemed to have been thirsting to dump more on them after the Holidays - but he couldn’t help but notice that Ginny, once more, became sort of withdrawn.

Harry was still making sure to sit with her every meal, but she seemed to be eating breakfast at other times than him, or skipping all together, because he never saw her anymore. The other meals, Harry could barely get her to say a word and she’d stopped studying with them all together.

She was back to the meek, embarrassed girl he’d met for a few minutes last summer, and Harry didn’t like it one bit.

He tried to talk to Ron about it, but he dismissed it. He never much liked to talk about his siblings. Harry gave up.

The dueling club, when the day finally arrived, was decorated exactly in tune with the organiser. Purple drapes with stars on them - _why in Merlins name were there stars? -_ lay across the raised stage that was in one end of the Great Hall.

Harry hung back, making sure he could see the stage, but not crowding close. He did not want Lockhart to single him out.

He watched Severus sneer and grumble as Lockhart introduced the whole thing and said Severus was “assisting” him. Harry silently snickered. Severus never _assisted_ anyone. He barely knew the word help.

The whole thing almost seemed worth attending when Severus blew Lockhart back. It was glorious to see the other man fluster and try to maintain his dignity. Severus still just sneered. Harry thought he could see amusement in his face, but thought that maybe that was just because he was getting to know him quite well.

They were pared off, and Harry threw a few spells around with Neville, feeling Severus’s eyes on him, and then, Harry’s name was called.

“How about a demonstration of the skills learned today, by a couple of students. Harry Potter, if you would? And your partner of course?”

Harry was furious. He had no want to get up on a stage in front of a whole school full of people that hated him and feared him now. He saw no way of getting out of it, as Lockhart stood watching him intently.

“I think not, Lockhart,” Severus said then, and Harry sighed in relief. He noted the lack of title Severus gave Lockhart though. It was such a nice shot of disrespect, which would almost be unseemly to point out. Score again for Severus. He looked to Neville, who looked even more relived and realised he was not the only one who didn’t want to be paraded in front of the whole school. “I think maybe Mr. Malfoy and Ms. Parkinson could do better.”

Harry could even tolerate the smirk on Malfoy’s face as he passed him, just because he didn’t have to get on stage.

He turned away from the stage, not wanting to see Malfoy enjoying the attention, but suddenly, the whole room went quiet and he couldn’t help but twirl around to look.

A snake. There was a snake, hissing menacingly at a boy, Harry thought a Huffelpuff, Finch-something or other, he thought, that was standing up close to the stage. Harry burst through the crowd, and hissed at the snake, “stop, don’t hurt him!”

He only realised what he’d done a second too late. Severus banished the snake, and, as gently as he could while still rushing, grabbed his shoulder and got him out of there.

Severus shook. He could see Harry shaking on the couch, where he had left him while he heated up some tea. This would not be easy for Harry. The whole school was going to eat Harry alive after this. If they dared to even speak a word around him.

Finally, Severus let the tea pot and cups follow him from the kitchenette.

“So, that happened,” Harry sighed, and took his cup. “I didn’t even think about the crowd, I didn’t think about what would happen. I’m so stupid,” here, Severus couldn’t listen anymore, and interrupted.

“You didn’t think, because you wanted to keep your schoolmate out of harms way. That is a noble thing. As is proper for your House. Yes, a bit more Slytherin thinking and you would’ve hopefully trusted me to take care of it, without you having to reveal your secret.

What is done is done though, and maybe, in the end, you’ll feel better that you don’t have to hide it anymore.”

Severus squeezed Harry’s hand and hoped his words helped.

“They’re going to be even more annoying about this Chamber business now, aren’t they?” Harry whispered.

“I reckon so, but you have your friends. I’m sure they’ll stand by you.”

Harry sighed again and Severus couldn’t help but put his tea down and gather him up close.

“You know, one day I’m going to grow too big for you to do that, when you don’t know what to say anymore,” Harry quipped, and Severus let out a breath of laughter.

“I think we’re just on track, with you eating properly now, for that. I’ll just have to savour every chance I get, I guess, and practice my parenting speeches in my head in the meantime?”

Harry laughed at that and Severus hoped he could keep Harry happy like this for a little while longer, before facing the school.

Harry sneaked back to the dorm after everyone was in bed. Severus had escorted him, so he wouldn’t get into trouble. They both wanted to delay the reaction from the school.

Harry slept mostly without nightmares, but his dreams were painted with a background of hissing noises and yelling and he woke up a bit frazzled.

He went through his day in a sort of blur. He heard all the whispers and banged his head against the breakfast table as he heard they now had a new title for him “Heir of Slytherin” and he wanted to puke, but it all felt so distant.

Maybe, he’d gotten a bit too good at ignoring things. He couldn’t ignore the part where Justin Finch-Fletchley, the kid from the dueling club, was running away from him any time he met him.

Apparently, people thought Harry had sicced the snake on Justin, instead of order it to back off.

He tried to go find Justin to clear up the matter, but all he got were more words, more gossip and no solution.

The idea that people thought he’d somehow … survived because he was _darker_ than Voldemort. Well, it was clear none of these people had actually met the monster. Creepy and disgusting, Harry never wanted to be anything like him.

He couldn’t help but wonder if some of what they were saying was true though. Maybe he _was_ the Heir of Slytherin, it would explain the parseltongue and the hat trying to sort him into Slytherin.

He didn’t want to take this up with Severus though. Or anyone really. Best to keep ignoring it.

Harry was in the middle of these thoughts, when he walked into something cold and hard. As he looked up, a peculiar sight greeted him. Nick, the Gryffindor ghost and Justin were in the hallway, completely still.

It took a minute, but Harry eventually realised they were petrified.

It took another minute to decide if he was going to run away, or face the music. It certainly couldn’t help the gossip if he was found “at the scene of the crime” again.

They’d be insufferable after this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, thank you everyone who keeps reading and leaving comments. I'm writing both this fic in november, but also trying a collection of original short stories for nanowrimo, so I'm a bit busy with all the writing and can not keep up with answering all the comments. 
> 
> I want you all to know that I read every one of them with a giddy dance and a smile and it warms my heart to know you're all out there waiting for more. 
> 
> P.s. I have put up a tentative Chapter total number on this, based on my current outline, but it might end up being a chapter longer, who knows. The plan is to at least write something for year 3 as well, so you're not rid of me yet. If you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the series as well, so you'll be up to date on the next work(s).


	9. The Diary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Tom.

The blow-out after the 3rd and 4th petrifications left Harry bunkering down to just his innermost circle of friends.

He started picking meal times that didn’t fit with the mainstream, he spent as little time in the hallways and common areas as possible and almost never went to the library anymore.

Surprisingly, he started doing some of his homework in Myrtle’s bathroom. In exchange to listening to her daily problems for about fifteen minutes, he could get peace and quiet and most of all, Myrtle didn’t seem up to date on the gossip about Harry.

Ginny seemed to have picked the low traffic time in the Hall as well, so now, finally, Harry met with her more often.

Slowly, ever so slow, Harry got her to open up a bit more again. It still wasn’t anywhere close to before, and Harry had to admit he got a bit annoyed sometimes when she would mutter things into her own chest. He had very little patience for his friends putting him on the same sort of pedestal as the whole public tended to.

Generally frustrated, Harry started finding himself more and more in the bathroom. As of such, one afternoon, he found Myrtle crying there.

He almost walked out before she saw him. This was not really what he wanted to deal with today.

As Myrtle complained and whinged about the person who had thrown a book through her, Harry looked into one of the mirrors, seeing his hair stick up every which way. He’d almost forgotten how irritable it could make him, as he hadn’t had any trouble over the Holidays, but now it just stuck out as if he never even washed it.

“I’m sorry that happened to you, Myrtle. Some people at this school just seem to have fun making others feel bad. Maybe I could take the book? Might not be best to have it right here reminding you of it all,” Harry said, a bit curious if maybe he could figure who was also coming here.

She led him to the book, which was sitting on the floor by the toilet. Fascinatingly, the book, and the floor immediately surrounding it, were dry. That felt very strange to Harry, this whole bathroom tended to be flooded.

He grabbed it up, and saw a name engraved on the back. Tom M. Riddle.

It wasn’t a name of any student he had ever heard of in Hogwarts, but he grabbed it and put it into his bag. If nothing else, he meant what he said to Myrtle, sitting around with reminders of your trouble didn’t tend to help.

Harry rubbed a hand unconsciously over his scar as he existed the bathroom.

No, reminders could sometimes be very bad.

Harry forgot about the diary for the next few days. He had tucked it into his nightstand when he came up to the dorm, but then Seamus had said something about the Heir thing, and Ron had started yelling in Harry’s defense and suddenly Harry was pulling Ron away.

He was exhausted of the whole thing, and they’d barely gotten off Holiday. He again, spent his evenings with Severus doing his homework in quiet or just drinking tea and talking about brewing.

One night, he was seething with such anger that Severus just dragged him over to the brewing chamber, and told him to brew.

He was restricted to safe-ish ingredients and Severus kept a close eye to make sure he didn’t blow the cauldron to pieces, but otherwise, he had no restrictions.

Four hours later, the liquid in the cauldron was bubbling slowly a soft gummy pink.

“What do you _think,_ this does?” Severus asked him then, and Harry looked up, a bit surprised to discover where he was and what he was doing.

He wasn’t angry any more, that was for sure.

“I guess, because of the brichwood leaves and then the nifflers blood, and newt eyes, that it’ll have some sort of calming effect.” Harry guessed and felt the warmth of pride rush through him as Severus nodded with a smile.

“Although, I would add, that with the niffler, you’ll have a more … cheering effect than a simple calming potion. Then the feathers you seemed to add without thought, will give strength. It might come off as a stronger, either in power or lasting period, calming effect, or it might give the drinker an added strength for the duration. It’ll be an interesting thing to test out.” Severus commented and Harry blushed.

He had just added the feathers without thinking of the effect.

“I added the feathers, because it was looking a bit muddy. I thought I could get clarity with the feathers,” Harry said, unsure of where he was pulling this knowledge. Or if he even was right.

The potion had turned clearer after the feathers addition, but thinking of it now, he could’ve just ruined the potions effects.

Severus raised a brow at him and then, tilting his head in thought nodded again and said, “I guess it could give the potion itself strength. A muddy potion will often have a muddy effect. An interesting thought.”

Harry almost zoned out at that. Severus’s face was lighting up in that way he did before burying his nose in books and notebooks for potion experimentation.

“Thank you for making me take my mind of things. It helped.” Harry said, before retreating back to the living chambers and calling down for dinner.

They had a nice evening that day.

It was the evening after that that Harry crawled into his poster bed and took out the book from Myrtle’s bathroom.

It was still mysteriously dry. He opened it, wanting to see what was written, but to his surprise, it was completely blank. He leafed through the whole thing and found not a single word.

He thought about the mysterious disappearance of water and decided to try writing in it. Maybe liquid disappeared into the book?

Could it be a charm, or a potion? What could be its use?

He took the quill out and took it to the blank page. As he did, he didn’t know what to write, but the little dot of ink that appeared as he put the quill to paper, disappeared in a few seconds.

Curious. He tried to write his name down.

_Hello, Harry Potter. My name is Tom Riddle. How did you come by my diary?_

And he couldn’t help but continue after that. The diary, or Tom, told him about his stay at Hogwarts, fifty years ago.

Harry, vaguely remembering Binns talking about the Chamber being opened fifty years ago, decided to risk an ask about the history.

_Ah, yes, it was all very freigthning and the worst thing of all, was the danger of the school closing. I did not wish to spend any more of my time at my so called_ _“home” than needed. I desperately longed for the school to keep open. I asked the Headmaster, and he told me that if the attacks stopped, the school would remain open._

**_And, did they stop? Did they find who did it?_ **

****

_They didn_ _’t close the school and they did put someone behind bars, but not before a student was killed. I can show you how I helped catch the perpetrator, if you want, Harry Potter._

But Harry didn’t quite like the feel of the diary. As he wrote, a dark muddy feeling, completely opposite of what his potion had turned into yesterday, surrounded him. He was curious about the death though. No one had mentioned a death so far.

**_Who died?_ **

He asked, giving himself one more chance of curiosity before leaving the book for the night. He’d take the book to Severus tomorrow, and see if he could figure out. Maybe there were spells on it, more than just supposedly trapping someones memories in it.

_That is not the important part of the story. The Mud-Muggleborn girl was killed a bathroom, don_ _’t even remember her name. Let me tell you of the one put in jail._

The book was clearly trying to lead him to something, and he didn’t like it one bit. He also saw the hesitation in the word Muggleborn, like the boy in the diary had meant something far worse. He clearly didn’t have a high opinion in Muggleborns anyway, with how he dismissed the death.

Harry shut the diary and put it away. It wouldn’t do to dwell on this, not when he planned to take it to Severus anyway.

He got ready for sleep and touched the Dream-catcher, having found that if he did, the nightmares stayed more silent than if he skipped it.

The next morning, Harry went down early, diary in bag, wanting to catch Ginny for breakfast.

They had a much nicer conversation than they’d had in months. Ginny felt calmer and clearer than for ages and it made Harry smile as he ate his porridge and listened to her.

“I found this weird diary the other day, in Myrtle’s bathroom - don’t worry, no girls use it anymore, so I just go there for some peace and quiet sometimes - but I think I’m going to take it to Severus. He’ll got to know what is up with it, don’t you think?” Harry said to Ginny, trying to rush down the last of his toast as he heard voices coming into the Hall. He had no wish to remain here when the whole school came in, all whispering about him.

He didn’t notice Ginny’s answer, too busy trying to get his breakfast down. And without much more, he hurried off to class.

It wasn’t until after lunch, when he had Potions, that he dug through his bag, trying to find the diary. Only to find it missing.

It was troubling, especially since he suspected something bad about the diary, but in a way, he was glad he didn’t have to bring anything bad to Severus. They were in such a good place, ever since the match, that Harry didn’t want anything to jeopardise that.

Once again, Harry did what he had been getting oh so good at the last few months, and ignored the uneasy crawling in his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everywhere where I don't explicitly go against canon, you can sort of refer that it is happening in the background. I just have no interest writing up the whole book to post here. So, what I write is what is ... somewhat differing from the books.


	10. Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dadadum. And so, we grow closer to the ending. Will Harry crack under the pressure of it all?

Harry didn’t get to keep on ignoring everything for much longer. A few weeks after the diary disappeared from his bag, a message was found on the wall right outside the Great Hall. It seemed to be written in chalk, and no matter what the Professors tried, they could not figure out who had done it.

_Mudbloods and blood traitors beware. The Heir will set things right._

Harry was secretly a little glad that he hadn’t been the one to discover the message.

From then on, they were escorted from class to class and had a curfew of getting back to their dorms immediately after classes.

Harry didn’t like how cramped up with everyone he had to be, but he guessed it was good that they were trying to keep them secure. How secure could they really be in a castle with an unknown assailant and monster though?

Harry tried not to think too much on that.

He was walking to class with the Gryffindors, lagging a bit behind, with Ron, when he heard the voice again. It was jarring, after months of not hearing it, he had thought he maybe had a momentary lapse of sanity that night in the autumn, but it was unmistakable.

That hissing, high voice was there again, right in the wall, going, _let me kill, let me seek the rubbish, let me clean it out for you, so hungryyy_. And Harry couldn’t help but shudder, even when he stopped listening.

If he was hearing it again, it was time to admit, it was real.

He’d have to tell Severus.

He passed Severus a note, during Potions, asking to see him privately, that day if possible. With the stricter rules and curfew, he couldn’t just go see Severus by himself.

He got a nod back, when Severus read the note, and so, he spent the rest of the day in an anxious state, trying to plan how the fuck to break it to Severus that he was hearing voices. Or you know, a voice.

Severus had had to go pick Harry up from the Gryffindor common room, but to his surprise, Harry kept quiet on their walk back down to the dungeons. He had expected a bit of chatter, as Harry often started informing him of the latest obnoxious gossip or the most interesting part of his day when they met these days.

It left Severus plenty of time to look Harry over, and discover something big was bothering him. Not only was his hair as untidy as the worst day, but he was anxiously rubbing his hands together and biting his lips.

They got into the chambers, and once again, Severus turned to put up the tea while Harry burrowed on the couch with the blanket. By now, the castle Elves knew to move it between the dorm and the chambers as Harry moved between the two.

He sat down when the tea was ready, meaning to just wait out until Harry talked, but after a while, he risked prompting, “Harry, what is going on? You wanted to talk?”

Harry flinched, and curled into a ball as Severus asked and Severus raised a brow, just as he sat by Harry concerned. He pulled Harry into his arms, and laid a kiss on his head, trying to sooth him.

Harry stayed silent for a while, but then he said, “We found Mrs. Norris because I was following a voice. Ron and Hermione couldn’t hear it, and I think Ron thinks I’m insane, but I could hear it. Inside the walls,”

Severus felt Harry tense in his arms, and lift off of him a bit, like he was preparing to run as Severus … what? Rejected him? Accused him of insanity?

Severus drew in a calming breath, thinking it over for a minute before replying. “I doubt Mr. Weasley is right here. That sounds a bit like maybe you heard a snake? Since most do not understand them?”

Harry nodded against him, carefully, before saying, “I guess that would make sense. One scary snake though, with what it was saying.”

Severus was concerned. It wasn’t like Harry was some innocent little kid, Severus was sure Vernon Dursley had not watched his mouth around Harry and sometimes, when Harry got particularly angry and frustrated, it showed.

“What does it say? Have you heard it again? Since your only bringing this up now?” Severus tried his best not to sound accusatory, knowing that Harry most likely had been really scared to bring this up with him.

He felt Harry shake in his arms and hugged him tighter, trying to give comfort. This was what he’d been afraid of at the Zoo, hearing that hissing come from Harry. He didn’t deserve one more thing to alienate him.

“I didn’t want to tell you, and then I didn’t hear it again, until today, I heard it again.”

Severus could see how that was all very bad, but Harry was still tense in his arms, as if he had more. He was still bracing for a rejection from Severus.

“Harry, we’ll figure this out. I’m glad you could share this with me,” Severus started, but it seemed Harry had finally figured to just tell all.

“It keeps talking about killing, and I didn’t connect it to the attacks, even though it led me to Mrs. Norris, because no one has been killed before, but then … well, then Tom said someone did die. When it opened first.”

Severus blinked thrice, before understanding all of that. “Tom?” he started, because it seemed to be the easiest question.

Harry shook, like with a delayed chill. “I found this diary, and I meant to take it to you, but I lost it before I could. Anyway, I found it, and it was empty, but when I wrote in it, the ink disappeared,” Harry started and Severus flinched back a bit. Magical diaries were not good news.

“And then it started replying to me, and it was trying to get me to ask about who was arrested for the Chamber thing fifty years ago, but he mentioned something about a death, and I was much more interested in that. I didn’t know someone died the last time.

I know I’m supposed to be brave, but a part of me just wants the school to shut down. I don’t want to be here. I want to go home.”

Severus shook with those words. Something deep and primal in him wanted to do as Harry asked, grab him and run home.

He had obligations to the other students though. His house of students. As long as the school was open, he had to think of more than just his new tiny family. As much as he hated it. He could resign later.

“You don’t _have_ to be brave, Harry. This is scary, and you’re dealing with even more information than the rest of your peers. I’ll take this to the Headmaster and see if he changes his mind about keeping open. In the meantime, how about I try and come get you most evenings. There is no more Quidditch practice, so I’ll come get you and you can do your homework here?”

Harry nodded, quiet against his chest. “Thank you. And thank you for not thinking I’m insane. I don’t have the diary to show you. Maybe it was just a dream.”

“No, we know the voice is most likely a snake, and we know you hear those, and I’ve seen plenty of magical diaries that talk back. Just never one quite like that one sounds. Why didn’t you want to see who was arrested?” Severus asked, knowing the boy in his lap tended to be curious first, and cautious later.

“The air, it got all … muddy. Like that potion I fixed with the feathers. A bit angry too. It felt _off_.”

Severus frowned at that. There was definitely something really wrong with that diary. He’d have wanted to get his hands on it.

He didn’t take Harry back to the dorm until late that night, wanting to keep him close and safe for as long as possible. They parted with a hug, unusual for them when not in private, but Severus just felt he had to. Harry seemed relieved as well.

Harry caught Hermione and Ron up to speed on the diary, Tom Riddle, the death and the voice being a snake before their first class the next morning.

Ron once again looked five seconds from declaring Harry insane, but luckily, Ron was also pretty stubborn, and since he had chosen Harry as a friend, he wasn’t quick to condemn him. He just shook his head and kept eating his toast.

Hermione grabbed Harry in for a hug, something about, that must be _so awful_ and for once, Harry was just glad for it. It was awful.

Then, for the rest of the day, Hermione looked pensive and deep in thought and when the last class let out, she didn’t follow the Gryffindors up to the dorm, but ran over to a group that seemed to be headed for the library.

“I had a thought, I’ll catch you later!” she yelled to them, and Harry and Ron were in part exasperated and not surprised at all. That girl sure did love the library.

Harry half expected her to be looking up something to show he wasn’t insane. Or maybe an earlier case of the same.

Ron and Harry were getting worried that Hermione would miss curfew, when McGonagall appeared in the dorms.

“I’m afraid, two more students have been attacked. Please all go to sleep, and in them morning, there will be more news on how we will proceed.” She said, and Ron tugged Harry to retreat up to their dorm, but Harry stood firm.

“Professor,” he started, but stopped as McGonagall dropped her eyes down to them.

“Yes, I did want to catch the two of you. If you’d follow me, gentlemen?”

Harry felt the question that had been on his lips sink to the bottom of his stomach like a rock. Hermione wasn’t just late. She wasn’t coming.

Severus was heading to the Headmaster when he heard a commotion by the teacher’s lounge. He found a good group of his colleagues half whispering, half aghast and when he inquired about the cause, he was told of Ms. Granger.

His first thought, was _poor Harry_.

He left for the Hospital Wing, guessing he’d meet the Headmaster there, but to his surprise, as he neared, he could hear Lucius Malfoy.

He was not prepared to see Albus Dumbledore being fired from the Headmaster position and even less for meeting Harry’s heartbroken gaze on the other side of the hallway.

He let thoughts of Albus and helplessness leave him as he rushed over to his son.

Nothing mattered right now, but being there for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lets all just agree to not look too closely at the timeline, okay? Cause I kept trying to drag the year out, but it's not really working. So just ... stay with me now, okay?


	11. Unstable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things move awfully fast and no one seems to be able to do exactly what they want. Even in a changed time, do things fall right along the lines of destiny?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was an unexpected wait, I'm sorry. I'd been doing so good, writing every day, and then ... I came to chapter 12, and I just didn't want to anymore. 
> 
> I had already written this one, but I was unsure if it needed changing, after I'd start chapter 12, so it had to wait. 
> 
> I know a couple of you were waiting for Lucius reactions, but to be honest, I'm keeping to a pretty narrow story thread, so even if I reference and mention canon things, I don't add to all of them. Maybe I'll do a bit of Lucius in the final chapter.

Time passed very strangely for Harry after that.

Seeing Hermione lie there, all pale and stiff was almost too much to bear, but he couldn’t leave her either.

Eventually, they had to, but everyone understood that they came by after classes every day.

Ron and Harry talked about the Chamber most nights, now desperate to work out the problem before someone was hurt even more. They wanted to solve it, if only for Hermione.

“If he said the girl died in a bathroom, what about Myrtle, maybe it was her?” Ron speculated one evening, and Harry lit up. Myrtle would probably love to tell them, if they could just get there.

Getting there was the problem as they were mostly restricted to the Gryffindor Tower, Hospital Wing and classes these days.

One morning, Harry met Ginny over breakfast, and she seemed very anxious. He tried to be open and encourage her to share, because it felt like she would run away scared at the first sign of being a burden and Harry got that. Maybe if he’d have told Severus sooner, Hermione wouldn’t be in the Hospital Wing.

Just when she’d started, “Harry, do you think, that someone can,” and Harry had put down his toast to properly listen, Ron plumped down on the seat beside him and started loudly chewing on his toast, “Never thought I’d miss Hermione’s nagging, but there is a Charms essay due today that I had completely forgotten about.”

Feeling annoyed and shocked at his friend’s words, Harry stormed off. It wasn’t until the sat down for class, that he realised he’d left Ginny there and not listened to her whole question.

The next morning, Ginny wasn’t at breakfast when Harry went down. He tried not to be disappointed. Or too angry at Ron.

That afternoon, both boys sat in silence by Hermione’s bed, not really talking.

“I didn’t mean anything bad. I miss her. It just felt like the best way to sayit. I don’t know how to feel.” Ron said, and grabbed onto Hermione’s hand.

“Hey, what is this?” he asked, suddenly, and then withdrew a piece of paper from Hermione’s clenched fist.

They read it, and it didn’t take them long to connect the dots. Hagrid had been raving about dead roosters back in the autumn; Ron confessed he’d seen an awful amount of spiders this year, all heading _out_ of the castle, instead of inside to the warmth. The single word _pipes_ , and Ron’s last idea of Myrtle being the one killed all those years ago, clued them in. A Basilisk, traveling the pipes. Pipes in the wall.

Last but not least, the Basilisk was a snake. A snake that Harry could understand.

They looked at each other for a second, before running off. Harry was heading straight for the dungeons, not wanting to delay getting this to Severus. This time, he’d go straight to Severus.

They were stopped by hushed voices in one hallway, and as they sneaked closer, they saw a message on the wall.

" _Her skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever_ " it said and Harry shook with a chill.

They walked past it, and could hear hushed voices in the teachers lounge.

As they listened, Harry focused solely on holding Ron back. One hand on his shoulder and another over his mouth silencing him, they managed to catch the most important bits.

Lockhart was being sent to find her, not that he’d have much luck, Harry thought. They hid in an alcove waiting for Severus to come out, and grabbed him as he exited.

They told Severus everything they’d found out, hoping to all hope that Severus wasn’t going to send them to bed. Harry in particular knew that Ron would not give until he found a way down to the Chamber to save Ginny.

He looked up at Severus as they let out the last word of explanation and hoped to all that was holy that Severus would help them.

“I guess we can go see if that dunderhead of a Defense Professor has any ideas. Maybe, for once, there is sense in that head of his,” Severus said, but Harry thought he was maybe just trying to delay them from chasing right into danger.

Slytherin’s did seem to like having more information before acting.

“You are a Professor. You have a duty to the students!” Severus yelled, affronted by this behaviour, even from this horrible baboon.

As he seethed and looked back at Harry and Ron, wishing he had somehow managed to keep them out of this, he was just vaguely aware of Lockhart mumbling excuses. Just as he meant to turn to Lockhart and tell him, “good riddance, at least you won’t be in my way!” he was hit with a curse.

The last thing he saw was Harry looking outraged and horrified.

Harry wasn’t entirely sure what had just happened, but just as Severus’s unconscious body hit the ground, Lockhart’s wand went flying out the window.

Ron looked at him like he had officially gone insane.

“How the bloody hell did you manage that, mate?” he asked incredulously, as Lockhart stammered in front of them.

Harry shrugged, although it felt hard as his whole body seemed to be vibrating with rage.

“Not the smartest thing to curse my parent, there, Professor, but you’ll be coming with us now, if only so we can make sure you don’t go off harming someone else. You can go first into the Chamber, as a sort of guinea pig.” Harry said to Lockhart, hoping that if he pretended that was on purpose, the stupid man would comply. He didn’t want to leave Severus there, but he knew Ron would not be halted for much longer.

Not when they knew where the Chamber was.

It took some standing around and listening to Myrtle’s dramatic storytelling of her own death, but after a while, and some hissed Parseltongue, the bathroom sinks finally lowered and the pipes could be seen.

None of them particularly wanted to slide on down there, not knowing what would happen, so of course, Harry and Ron pushed Lockhart down first. The man could die, for all Harry cared, after attacking Severus like that.

What Harry wouldn’t give to have his guardian there, a steady hand on his shoulder, and his effortless magic keeping them safe.

He didn’t feel very confident, but with only Ron and Lockhart with him, he knew he had to act strong. His magic was all over the place, angry and confused and scared, and he could see sparks go off in the ceiling every few seconds. As Lockhart said it was fine, the boys followed and were faced with a long tunnel.

Harry took lead, despite it all, mostly because he just wanted to get this over with, and get back to Severus.

Suddenly, he felt his magic lash out - it was getting quite uncomfortable, the way it was so unstable - and then a loud thundering noise could be heard. He spun around to look for Ron, who was facing a menacing Lockhart, but seemed relieved.

“Thanks Harry, he tried to jump me and take my wand!”

But Ron didn’t get to be grateful for too long, as the tunnel ceiling around them started crumbling. One stone could be heard hitting something before the floor and Ron yelled, “He’s out!” and Harry figured Lockhart must’ve been hit in the head.

He didn’t get to be too happy about that, because not only was Lockhart now out of the game, Ron and Harry were now separated by a block of stones.

“What do we do now?” Ron yelled and Harry thought it was obvious, if a bit frustrating.

No matter how hard he tried not to get stuck with these things, it always ended up being him who had to walk into the unknown danger, wasn’t it?

He said his goodbyes to Ron, promising to save his sister, and walked off to what he hoped was the right direction.

He really wished Severus was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know I've marked this to be 12 chapters, and that's still the plan, but depending on how the last chapter goes, I might have one extra that just ... ties up all the loose ends of the year, so the next work can start properly with year 3.


	12. Memory, Precious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry wakes in the Hospital Wing, to find it full of various patients. There is only one he wants to find. 
> 
> Severus wakes confused. Why is he here? Why is the Potter boy cuddling up to him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this scene had me blocked for 3 months. It happens. 
> 
> I'm making this work into 13 chapters, as this felt like the natural end to this one, but I promise that the end is coming sooner than this chapter came. 
> 
> Don't kill me. This had to happen.

Harry woke in the dark. It was disorientating, as the last thing he remembered was clutching the feathers of Dumbledore’s Phoenix bird, Fawkes. 

Had he just fallen back down to the Chamber, not managing to save Ginny, in the end? 

No, he looked around and after a while of squinting, came to the conclusion that he was in the Hospital Wing. 

If he was here, Ron, Ginny and … Severus! Severus had to be here. If someone had found him yet, that was. Oh god, no, this couldn’t be happening. 

Panicked, he fumbled around the nightstand for his glasses, grimacing a bit at how sad it was that he knew his way around this place in the dark. 

He grabbed his wand and with a whispered Lumos, could see a bit more. Walking around the Wing, he managed to identify Ginny, looking pale and scared, even sleeping as she was, but at least, she was warm and she showed emotion, which was more than when he’d gotten down to the Chamber to her. 

In the next bed, he found Ron, who seemed normal, really, just as if he was sleeping it all off. Madam Pomfrey probably just wanted to be safe, with all these things happening. 

He found Lockhart, with his head wrapped complicatedly in the corner, and quickly moved away. If he never had to interact with that man again, it’d be too soon. 

Even as he backed off, he felt that strange tingle of his magic again, as if it had angered again, just at the sight of Lockhart. Harry stopped and thought for a moment and realised he had gotten angry, furious actually, seeing him, but he was so used to pushing his emotions away, that he hadn’t noticed, without the physical feel of his magic. 

He came to the bed with Hermione, and startled as he noticed that she wasn’t petrified any longer. She, like Ron, seemed to only be sleeping it off. 

Harry had walked dispassionately past the other petrification victims, now all back to normal, all but Nick and Mrs. Norris in their respective Hospital beds, fast asleep. 

It wasn’t until the he was almost back to his own bed, that he finally found who had he been looking for all along. Severus. 

He couldn’t help but let out a little sigh of relief as he ran his eyes over Severus and found no physical mark of the attack. He had no idea what Lockhart had done to him, but he had been so scared, so terrified that fate had torn another adult out of his life. Another parent. 

He didn’t even think twice, before laying his glasses and wand on the night stand and moving into the bed right up against Severus. Maybe he’d be able to sleep a bit more, now. 

  
Severus woke up too warm. He furrowed his brow, trying to think of why he was so hot. It was only as he tried to move, that he realised two things. He was warm, because tucked up around him, was a small body and as his eyes sprung open at that surprise, he saw he wasn’t in his own bed, but in the way too bright Hospital Wing. 

Moving carefully, he looked to his side to try and identify the body all wrapped around him and startled to see that it was Harry Potter. 

As he tried to think of a reason Harry Potter would have for sneaking into bed to snuggle with him, he realised, that there were holes in his memory. Startled, he occluded and found that the holes were random and deliberate. Random, in the sense that he found no particular order to the missing memories. They included some of his classes, some of his evenings, most of his meals, and maybe most interesting, giving the current situation, he had no memory of Harry Potter this year. Strangely enough, he also couldn’t remember who had been hired as Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts this year. The whole thing was deliberate in the sense that he could only figure he’d been obliviated to forget a certain person, or few for the entirety of the school year. 

Actually, the last thing he remember of Potter, was during detention in his first year. 

Even if he was missing memories, he figured, he’d somehow, stopped having such a horrible caustic relationship with the boy, if he’d felt safe enough to sleep next to him. Now he just had to figure out how to proceed. 

He looked around and saw that the Hospital Wing was empty, and he saw no sign on Madam Pomfrey. By the amount of light in the room, it seemed to be noon, so the woman was probably just eating, but Severus was stumped on where to start his questioning. 

Before Severus could figure it out, the boy in his arms slowly awoke. 

  
Harry woke warm and cozy. There was a moment where he just burrowed closer to the warm body next to him, knowing he was safe in Severus’s arms. 

It didn’t last long, as he could feel the sting of sunlight on his eyelids, forcing him to open up his eyes and take in his surroundings. It seemed that the rest of the Hospital Wing had been emptied out without rousing them, which Harry was secretly grateful for. Without much else to do, he looked to Severus, bracing himself. 

Harry could tell immediately that something wasn’t alright with Severus. If it had, Harry was sure he’d be doing that worried-scolding-but not because that could upset Harry-thing and instead, Severus was sort of frozen. 

“Do you know why we’re here?” Severus asked him, finally, sounding like he was dealing out his words carefully and his tone was so clipped and sterile, that Harry was put even more on edge. He extracted himself from Severus and jumped down from the bed to sit in a chair. 

“Yes. Although I don’t know what happened to you exactly. What do you remember last?” Harry asked, tucking his arms around his legs, making a ball on the chair, trying to keep some of the warmth from Severus still in his body. 

Severus looked at him blankly for a second, before he looked away and winced. “I guess that’s the problem. I don’t really remember much at all. The last memory I have of you is of your detention in your first year. But then it’s like you’ve been plucked from my memories of this year.” 

Harry had been preparing himself for something bad, based on the signs, but he had not been prepared for this. He wasn’t sure he could’ve prepared for this. His parent didn’t remember him. Or, rather, didn’t remember their relationship changing, growing. 

Severus had known that the boy wouldn’t like the truth, but he had not expected this. The boy crumbled completely, sobbing soundlessly and burrowing his head into his knees. 

Before he could try and do some damage control, - although how, when he didn’t even remember how he got here? - Madam Pomfrey finally came out of her office. 

“Oh dear, what is going on here?” she exclaimed as she saw Harry’s shaking shoulders. To Severus’s surprise, she didn’t immediately go over to the boy to comfort him, but looked at Severus expectedly. 

Severus did not like what all this implied. It seemed he had developed some sort of … amicable relationship with the Potter boy, to the point where Poppy expected him to comfort him. 

Severus cleared his throat, feeling completely lost. “Well, I seem to have been obliviated. Quite badly but extensively. I’m missing suspiciously random parts of the passing school year and I do not have one single memory of Mr. Potter since last year.” 

If Severus had thought the boy was just being dramatic, he would be proved wrong as Poppy’s face paled and she let out a low “oh dearie”, before sending out a Patronus message to Albus and Minerva. 

“Could you explain what is going on?” Severus asked, feeling more annoyed by the second. If this was so serious, couldn’t they get on with it, instead of just puttering around. He had to admit that something deep inside him was getting more and more distressed by the passing minute of the Potter boy crying in the chair next to his bed. 

Poppy drew in a big breath and said, “I’ve called the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall here because I’ll need their help to reverse the Obliviate, but I can tell you that you were found in Professor Lockhart’s office, unconscious, and taken here to recuperate. I had not realised you were suffering memory loss. It’ll be added to the list of crimes Lockhart will be tried for.” 

“Albus hired Gilderoy Lockhart to be the Professor for Defence Against the Dark Arts? That imbecile couldn’t defend against a pygme, let alone anything dark!” Severus yelled out, feeling indignant. 

Before he could even process that Lockhart had apparently done this to him, he was startled by a squeak of laughter from the crying ball of boy on the chair next to his bed. 

Even Poppy was smiling a bit, even though she still looked worried. 

“Yes, well, we’ve all been asking ourselves what the hell he was thinking, but it’s done now. The Auror’s have taken him away. Mr. Weasley was able to tell us that Lockhart had attacked you with a curse that knocked you out, but he didn’t know with what.” 

“Well, apparently now we know. Figures, Charms was the only subject he didn’t steal other’s papers on.” Severus muttered, resigned to waiting for Albus and Minerva before solving anything. 

The sobs had slowed and tapered off, and the boy was now rubbing his eyes dry, stealing glances at Severus like he was both afraid to look and afraid to look away too long. 

Severus really just wanted to get his memories back. Not knowing was the worst punishment in the world, and knowing that Lockhart had managed to do this to him was riling him up double. 

“What seems to be the matter, Poppy? I thought they were both alright?” Minerva strode in, looking concerned. 

“Yeah, physically, they’re all healed. It seems Lockhart left us more than we thought. He Obliviated Severus. It seems he has forgotten everything linked to both Lockhart and Mr. Potter for the last year.” Poppy replied and Severus again noted how she emphasised Potter’s name. 

Minerva gasped and held her hand up to her mouth and looked over at the boy worriedly. 

Severus was done. Why was everyone so concerned. 

“Oh Harry, can I come sit with you?” Minerva said as she walked over carefully to the boy. 

Potter nodded shakily and then Minerva was scooping the boy up and sitting down on the chair tugging the boy into her lap. 

Severus stared. They didn’t tend to be so physical in comforting their students, but Minerva seemed to think this was necessary. He could see the boy lean in close to her, and then whisper something, and the witch looked up at Severus, and then down at the boy and nodded, saying something low back to the boy. 

Finally, Albus came in, and he seemed to puzzle things together from Poppy’s concern, Severus bewilderment and Minerva and the Potter boy cuddling. 

“So, Lockhart Obliviated him as well?” he asked, resigned and reaching for his wand already. 

Poppy looked at him surprised and asked before Severus could, “How did you know?” 

“Kingsley just Floo’d and told me they’d gotten a confession out of Lockhart that he’s been using the charm on people to claim their discoveries and adventures for his own.” 

“Sounds like the idiot.” Severus shot in, starting to get full on angry that that dumb jackass managed to get one over him. 

Albus looked at him and then tilted his head for a second, asking and Severus was so pissed off that he didn’t even think twice. 

“I’m more concerned over the missing memories than I am over your old arse seeing into my head. Nothing I’m not used to. Go ahead.” 

“I’ll need your help.” Albus just said, before aiming the wand at him and drawing a breath before casting. 

Severus was busy staring straight into his eyes, preparing for the mind connection that he didn’t even notice the boy moving until suddenly, he had a lap full of Potter, the wild hair hitting his face as Albus was actually pushed back by magic. 

Albus Dumbledore, pushed back by … wandless and worldless magic of a 12 year old boy? 

Severus stared speechless at Potter, who was vibrating in his lap and then over to Albus, who was smiling and raising his hands slowly in surrender and then over at Poppy and Minerva, who both looked emotional. 

“Don’t hurt him!” the Potter boy yelled and Severus could barely hide his irritation at this delay in getting his memories. 

“He’s not going to hurt me, Potter, he’s helping me get my memories back!” Severus yelled at the boy only to feel a stone drop low into his stomach as the boy flinched violently, fell out of the bed, and then ran out. 

Minerva scowled, and then hurried after the boy, and Severus was taken aback by the primal need to follow them both. He felt horrible, but he didn’t know why. 

“Can we get this over with!” He yelled at Albus instead, and Albus looked at him sadly and then raised his wand again and then they were both inside Severus’s mind. Looking around, there were multiple veils of fog clouding his usually tidy mind-scape and with Albus’s help, they got rid of them all, but it took a lot of time and energy. When finally Albus got out, Severus opened his eyes, seeing that Poppy was still there, and then, he buried his face in his hands. 

He’d yelled at Harry, again. 

He’d scared him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please detail your murder wishes for me in the comments. Hoping for a quicker update this time!


	13. On the Mend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry ran last chapter, now Severus runs. Things get mended, but things also take time. Patience, young squire. 
> 
> Lockhart gets his due.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this might not be great, but hopefully it puts the lid on some boiling plot points and we can move on. 
> 
> I hope you like it. Now, go read.

Harry ran. He couldn’t see where he was running, and it wasn’t until he stopped that he realised it was because the tears were clouding his sight. He didn’t want to think about why he was crying, so he just squeezed his eyes shut and tried his best to not think of anything.

That didn’t work, obviously, because once again he was faced with the fear that nothing had really changed. What proof did he have that Severus wasn’t just playing him? Waiting until the best moments to yell at him, and what if it didn’t stop there? What if Severus would start punishing him like the Dursley’s had?

He’d just been happy to get out from the Dursley’s and then so happy to have a _family_ , _a parent_ , but he wasn’t sure he could take it if Severus would start treating him like the Dursley’s had. Plus, what if he didn’t get his memories? What if he got them but thought it was stupid of him to have taken Harry in and decided to give Harry up?

McGonagall found him sitting by the lake, head between his knees and his thoughts spiraling.

“Mr. Potter? Harry?” she prompted and Harry was slightly surprised to look up and see her standing a good few feet away.

“Yes, Professor,” Harry stammered out, finding there wasn’t quite enough air in his lungs for a proper answer.

“Can I come closer?” she asked and for the second time in that day, Harry wondered why she asked, but he was very grateful that someone seemed to care enough not to just _touch_ him.

“Yeah, but can you… can you sit a bit away still?” Harry answered, feeling like he might break down if someone touched him. He wasn’t even sure how he’d react, but he didn’t think it’d be good.

It was a sight to see Professor McGonagall sit down on the grass by the lake in her full robes, but Harry immediately felt better, safer when she was a bit lower.

Relaxing slightly, he realised he’d been feeling that strange feeling of his magic traveling up and down his arms had been there since he’d realised something was wrong with Severus.

“I don’t think my magic is doing so good, Professor,” Harry confessed and watched as McGonagall just smirked lightly and then tried to compose herself.

“No, Harry, I don’t think it’s very stable. Have you experienced anything more than your push at the Headmaster?” she asked and Harry bit his lip, not knowing if he’d be punished for that.

“Yeah, when Lockhart hexed Severus, I got really scared, but also so angry and then suddenly, his wand was flying out the window. Then down in the Chamber, he tried to grab Ron’s wand and it seemed that my magic reacted even though I couldn’t see them. That’s what caused the collapse of some of the tunnel we were in, closing me off from Ron and Lockhart. It also knocked Lockhart out.”

McGonagall stared at him, and then tilted her head at him, as if trying to see through him and then she opened her mouth to say something, but then they heard something that grabbed their attention.

“Harry, please, Harry!” Severus was running towards them, looking less dignified than ever before.

Harry scuttled backwards a bit, only stopping as McGonagall held out her hand, her eyes pleading with Harry.

“Harry, dear, I think you really should hear him out. If it makes you feel better, I can stay.”

Harry drew in a big breath, trying to think clearly. Despite his spiral earlier, Severus had always had an explanation for his mistakes. Not excuses, just explanations. It was probably best to hear him out. Harry didn’t want this to be the end of his new family.

He nodded to McGonagall and she moved behind him, and Severus slowed as he approached them, looking timid at the sight of them.

“Are you alright? Did Lockhart hurt you?” was the first thing to stumble out of Severus’s mouth. Harry was taken aback by the concern, as he had been sure that he would hear apologies and explanations and please for forgiveness, not this.

Harry recounted the night, confirming that Lockhart didn’t hurt him so much as Harry hurt Lockhart. He skipped over how, not wanting to have _that_ conversation with Severus while things felt so horrible. He told him, them, about the Basilisk, about Tom and how Ginny had looked dead. He told them about the fang and the book and the bird that saved them.

Throughout his story, Severus seemed to be itching to reach out to him and offer comfort, but held himself back.

“I’m so sorry that you felt you had to do that on your own, Harry.” Severus said, when Harry finally finished his story. “And I am so sorry that I reacted that way, when you were only trying to help me. I have to admit, that in the last year, I’ve relearned a lot about patience and taking the time to think things through before I react. When I yelled at you, I didn’t have the memories of that, plus … to be perfectly honest, Lockhart doesn’t really bring out the best side of me,” Severus said, and his lips rose a bit, almost into a conspiratory smile when he mentioned Lockhart.

Harry nodded, knowing exactly what Severus meant about Lockhart, but still wanting to hear what else he had to say. It might not be logical, but Harry needed to know that he wouldn’t have done it with his memories. That he wouldn’t just wait until he could surprise Harry next and then yell at him again.

Severus scooted a bit closer, shooting Harry a questioning look, and Harry nodded again, not trusting himself to speak now.

“I’m so proud and honored that you’ve opened up to me in the past year, and that our connection has grown like it has and that you care for me enough to protect me from anyone, be it Lockhart or Albus. I’m so sorry if you feel like you can’t trust me now, Harry, because I certainly trust you with my life.”

Harry looked over at him, trying to get some kind of read on if he was serious. Severus looked right back at him, not hiding anything, his face pleading. It looked very out of character and for a second, Harry felt uncomfortable with it, before he decided that if Severus was doing something so strange, he must be honest.

“Trust isn’t … normal for me, I guess, but I’m going to try. I just don’t know if I can,” Harry meant to go on, but the thought of what he wanted to say, was too much.

**

Severus could barely hold himself together when Harry spoke the words. It seemed that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t spare Lily’s son pain. His son.

As he finally got Harry to consent to him drawing him in for a hug and nodding to Minerva, seeing her walk off, after glaring at him once more, Severus held him close and tried to commit his body, as well as his mind never to yell at the child ever again.

After a good while, he nudged him, getting them up and inside from the grass. What they needed now was some hot chocolate, Lily’s blanket and no other people that could possibly threaten them.

Severus was pretty sure he’d never open his chamber doors again.

He might be growing into a bit of a paranoid parent, but who could blame him? He was raising god damn Harry Potter. Everything tried to kill him. Severus reckoned he was in for quite a few more years of worrying.

**

They didn’t discuss anything more that day, nor the day after that. Harry went off in the morning to find Hermione and Ron and reassure himself that they were okay. It turned out they needed the same. Severus had been pacing his chambers the whole time Harry was gone, until he gave up and just started brewing a simple potion, trying to distract himself. That’s how Harry found him, when he sneaked in, keeping quiet.

“I’m glad you’re back. Mind grabbing the dried willow roots from that cabinet over there?” and so they had brewed together for the rest of the day, barely remembering to eat some of the offerings from the House Elves.

It isn’t until three days after the Chamber that Dumbledore sent them a letter by owl post.

_Gilderoy Lockhart has been charged with Obliviating Professor Severus Snape, as well as dozens of wizards and witches during his adventures. He_ _’s been charged with child endangerment for taking Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley down to the Chamber of Secrets and blowing up the chamber around himself and Mr. Weasley._

_In light of the collective trauma to the school and its pupils, Hogwarts is going on early Easter Holiday and we_ _’re encouraging all to go home for the duration._

_Severus, you are exempt from your normal patrolling duties and I will only expect you back at work on the first day of classes after Easter. Have a good Holiday._

_Headmaster Albus Dumbledore._

Severus and Harry looked at each other as they finished reading and smiled. It might be a bunch of lies, but Lockhart deserved to get a worthy sentence and they deserved the break.

“Can we go home now?” Harry asked and Severus thought his heart was actually growing bigger with this parent thing, because he ached at the idea that he at least hadn’t ruined things enough for Harry to doubt where he could go home.

“Yes, we can go home.” Severus said and then put his hand on top of Harry’s head, pulling him in close. He smiled as he noted that the hair was tidier than it had been in months.

He might worry, but he’d do anything for this boy. He knew that now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this completes this work. I have a plan for at least one more work, but I make no promises on length. This whole series has not been what I expected.
> 
> I know I haven't completed the school year, but tbh, this story goes beyond school years, it more follows the developement of their relationship. 
> 
> If you want to continue on the journey with me, Severus and Harry, go ahead and subscribe to the series, and you'll be getting an email when I post the next work. I make no promises on time either, cause I'm in my clinical vet school years. I shouldn't even be here. 
> 
> Hopefully, you guys will continue to let me know what you think in the comments. I read every single one and smile and laugh and squee that someone is reading this. I just make sure my writing time is focused on actually getting something written to post!
> 
> nessa

**Author's Note:**

> More is coming soon, make sure to subscribe to the work and the series. Let me know you were here!


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